Before I get started. I was mistaken that Anne's blog, Disabled Not Dead, had been deleted. Happily, it is still available. Sorry Anne, Not the first time Blogger has confused me.
I had mentioned in an earlier post that I would talk about non MS blogs and websites that I enjoy, or at least find useful. Maybe one of you out there might find them interesting . Just check out my "Other Stuff I Like", links. I'll start with the National Film Board.
When I was a kid my teachers in grade school would show films on Friday afternoons. I use to look forward to it unless it was a National Film Board one, and most of the other kids felt the same. As soon as I saw the NFB logo I would think "boring". Well what can you expect from an 11 year old who's idea of culture was watching Commander Tom, on tv and wasted Saturday afternoons watching Hammer films at the Prince of Wales theatre.
Even if I did like something I wouldn't admit it because Canadian films just weren't cool back then. Now I realize that the film board really does have some good stuff.
They have animated shorts you can view. One of my favourites being "The Log Driver's Waltz" sung by Kate and Anna McGarrigle. Kate the mother of Rufus Wainwright. I was watching it the other day and my son commented: "how lame and corny", so you know it must be good.
Go ahead, take a break from YouTube and have a look .
Selasa, 31 Maret 2009
Senin, 30 Maret 2009
Lassitude
Lassitude: Langour, disinclination to exert or interest oneself.
Last week before attending one of many tiring meetings at work, I printed off some information from the MS society about fatigue. I handed copies to the people at the meeting and simply said "this is the reason why I want to work at home". The word lassitude,jumped out at me. The definition of it suits me so perfectly.
Before 2004 I would never have been able to imagine the fatigue I experience now. Would never have thought that lassitude would become a part of my life. The disinclination to exert or interest myself comes partly from fear . Fear, that I will start a project, not be able to finish it, and end up with a mess. I look around my house at all the things that I would like to do and I cry, because I'm afraid to do them. Fear, when I have that awful feverish feeling,get so tired, so suddenly, and the switch in my head shuts off. When it shuts off, I can't do a thing or I do stupid things,like injure myself, cross the street on a red light, fall, or have an anxiety attack.
I remember the summer of 2005 when I was invited to a wedding . It took me the entire morning of that day to get ready. Not because I was getting really decked out, but because I could barely do a thing. Even combing my hair was a huge effort
I sat not wanting to go and yet somehow I was able to peel myself off the couch. The whole experience was an ordeal. I felt like a zombie. What made it worse is that there were people there I hadn't seen in ages .Inside I was happy to see them, outside I could barely make the effort to say hello. It was like a strange dream. I felt like I wasn't even there. The whole summer was like that.
For a person who use to be so active, it's difficult to get use to this new weak, "lazy" me . I know there are people around me who think I'm not trying, but I am .
I am
Last week before attending one of many tiring meetings at work, I printed off some information from the MS society about fatigue. I handed copies to the people at the meeting and simply said "this is the reason why I want to work at home". The word lassitude,jumped out at me. The definition of it suits me so perfectly.
Before 2004 I would never have been able to imagine the fatigue I experience now. Would never have thought that lassitude would become a part of my life. The disinclination to exert or interest myself comes partly from fear . Fear, that I will start a project, not be able to finish it, and end up with a mess. I look around my house at all the things that I would like to do and I cry, because I'm afraid to do them. Fear, when I have that awful feverish feeling,get so tired, so suddenly, and the switch in my head shuts off. When it shuts off, I can't do a thing or I do stupid things,like injure myself, cross the street on a red light, fall, or have an anxiety attack.
I remember the summer of 2005 when I was invited to a wedding . It took me the entire morning of that day to get ready. Not because I was getting really decked out, but because I could barely do a thing. Even combing my hair was a huge effort
I sat not wanting to go and yet somehow I was able to peel myself off the couch. The whole experience was an ordeal. I felt like a zombie. What made it worse is that there were people there I hadn't seen in ages .Inside I was happy to see them, outside I could barely make the effort to say hello. It was like a strange dream. I felt like I wasn't even there. The whole summer was like that.
For a person who use to be so active, it's difficult to get use to this new weak, "lazy" me . I know there are people around me who think I'm not trying, but I am .
I am
Sabtu, 28 Maret 2009
Mush Brain Commentary
Taking it easy today. I hate to say how tired I am. I will anyway. I'm so tired !!
Too tired to even write anything and I'm hoping this post won't be incomprehensible
If you are reading this and it comes across as a bunch of gobbly gook, sorry. Can't seem to get my head and hands to cooperate with me.
Funny how things can drag on so long and then suddenly they start moving so fast. There has been more progress on my "duty to accommodate" this week, than in the past 18 months. The recent labour relations decision, which I mentioned in an earlier post, and a union conference studying the impact of that case, seems to have energized the entire process. There are definite time lines in place now, so the next couple of weeks should be interesting. Wish I could say more, only I know there are readers of my blog who are in fact back stabbing weasels, just waiting for that one comment they can twist to get me for violating confidentiality.
Weird how it's my life but I can't talk about it. Blogs aren't private. No, they are in fact very public and can get you into lots of trouble. Just like Facebook, which I avoid like the plague. Too many people on there who think it's some private little club, were you can say and do whatever you want. No, the petty authoritarian minions, are out there gleefully looking for the tiniest thing they can use against you. What they get out of it I really don't know.
Don't get the idea I'm some brave soldier here,fighting the good fight. I broke down in tears more than once this week, from pure exhaustion.
All I can say to anyone who is considering a fight,(and it does turn into a fight). Think very hard about what you want, why you want it. Be aware of how slow justice can be, how time consuming and bureaucratic. Can you handle getting up every day to face your tormentors for days, weeks, months, years ? Can you take the financial and emotional costs ? It's hard enough doing it when you're fit. Rough when you're not. If you do decide it's worth it, don't give up, but also remember, sometimes life just ain't fair.
Too tired to even write anything and I'm hoping this post won't be incomprehensible
If you are reading this and it comes across as a bunch of gobbly gook, sorry. Can't seem to get my head and hands to cooperate with me.
Funny how things can drag on so long and then suddenly they start moving so fast. There has been more progress on my "duty to accommodate" this week, than in the past 18 months. The recent labour relations decision, which I mentioned in an earlier post, and a union conference studying the impact of that case, seems to have energized the entire process. There are definite time lines in place now, so the next couple of weeks should be interesting. Wish I could say more, only I know there are readers of my blog who are in fact back stabbing weasels, just waiting for that one comment they can twist to get me for violating confidentiality.
Weird how it's my life but I can't talk about it. Blogs aren't private. No, they are in fact very public and can get you into lots of trouble. Just like Facebook, which I avoid like the plague. Too many people on there who think it's some private little club, were you can say and do whatever you want. No, the petty authoritarian minions, are out there gleefully looking for the tiniest thing they can use against you. What they get out of it I really don't know.
Don't get the idea I'm some brave soldier here,fighting the good fight. I broke down in tears more than once this week, from pure exhaustion.
All I can say to anyone who is considering a fight,(and it does turn into a fight). Think very hard about what you want, why you want it. Be aware of how slow justice can be, how time consuming and bureaucratic. Can you handle getting up every day to face your tormentors for days, weeks, months, years ? Can you take the financial and emotional costs ? It's hard enough doing it when you're fit. Rough when you're not. If you do decide it's worth it, don't give up, but also remember, sometimes life just ain't fair.
Rabu, 25 Maret 2009
News, Big and Small
I have added My Wife Has MS blog to my list of links. Interesting to read a partner's view of life with someone who has MS. I'm sorry to see that Anne has deleted her blog, Disabled Not Dead. I thought she had wanted to keep it as an information source and a valuable one it was.
Have read several news stories about the rise in candy and chocolate sales. People want a treat in bad times. This is good news for my son, who has a new part time job working in a candy factory. I don't know why they call it a part time job when the shifts are 11 hours.He still works at the pasta factory, one night per week.
I'll be glad when the school term is over as I think he's taken on too much. He is mostly likely annoyed reading this. Teenagers can't handle mother love.
Also in the news. I never in my life thought I would agree with Newt Gingrich, about the bailout mess. Life keeps getting stranger. Notice AIG has removed their sign on the headquarters building ? Guess they are getting worried they might get kidnapped like the boss in France, or attacked like they bank boss in England.
Also I was totally disgusted with Fox news and their ridicule of Canadian troops in Afghanistan. Yes you dummies Canada, is in Afghanistan, and four of our soldiers died there this past week. I'm not in favour of them being there, but I will defend them, just as you defend your own. Any wonder the world thinks so little of America ?
I'm home today. Feeling a bit better now, after a rotten evening last night and a not so great sleep. The usual tingling pain mess.It didn't help yesterday that a meeting was canceled after me rearranging my schedule to attend. What is it with people that they don't check their own agenda properly before they make appointments, or is it that they simply don't care?
Have to get back to writing my report for work a.k.a.: The ridiculous soap opera that has become my job.
Have read several news stories about the rise in candy and chocolate sales. People want a treat in bad times. This is good news for my son, who has a new part time job working in a candy factory. I don't know why they call it a part time job when the shifts are 11 hours.He still works at the pasta factory, one night per week.
I'll be glad when the school term is over as I think he's taken on too much. He is mostly likely annoyed reading this. Teenagers can't handle mother love.
Also in the news. I never in my life thought I would agree with Newt Gingrich, about the bailout mess. Life keeps getting stranger. Notice AIG has removed their sign on the headquarters building ? Guess they are getting worried they might get kidnapped like the boss in France, or attacked like they bank boss in England.
Also I was totally disgusted with Fox news and their ridicule of Canadian troops in Afghanistan. Yes you dummies Canada, is in Afghanistan, and four of our soldiers died there this past week. I'm not in favour of them being there, but I will defend them, just as you defend your own. Any wonder the world thinks so little of America ?
I'm home today. Feeling a bit better now, after a rotten evening last night and a not so great sleep. The usual tingling pain mess.It didn't help yesterday that a meeting was canceled after me rearranging my schedule to attend. What is it with people that they don't check their own agenda properly before they make appointments, or is it that they simply don't care?
Have to get back to writing my report for work a.k.a.: The ridiculous soap opera that has become my job.
Selasa, 24 Maret 2009
Medical Curiosities
Check out this history of medical curiosities in pictures
OK I admit I had to look up what lithotomy is. Eeek !
A terrible day Really thought I was going to lose it.
OK I admit I had to look up what lithotomy is. Eeek !
A terrible day Really thought I was going to lose it.
Minggu, 22 Maret 2009
Alienation
This past week has been one of regrets, frustration, sensitivity, and alienation. Not that I'm throwing in the towel or anything (managers don't break out the champagne just yet)
I see flaws in others, but do I see my own? Why do I care what others think or feel?
How do I sort out what is important to care about and what isn't ?
For example:
Yesterday I was at the grocery store picking up some items I forgot to order. A couple in front of me at the checkout were perusing the magazines. They were discussing celebrities as though these people were a part of their lives . I just don't get why people care about who is and isn't wearing underpants. Now if my son or my mother didn't have their undies on, I would be concerned, but Britney Spears ?
Same thing happened at lunch on Friday. I was with a couple of girlfriends I haven't seen in awhile. Nice smart ladies, yet they seem to think they have the right to comment on the spouse of a particular actor, saying he could have done better. How would they like it if I said that to them ? and don't they realize that celebrities don't give a hoot what we think. Maybe the world wouldn't be in the mess it's in right now, if we were less concerned about lingerie and were taking care of business instead ?
Or maybe it's me. I should take care of my own business and let others get on with reading People. Then again I wish people would stop pushing the latest therapy in my face and tell me at least I'm not on welfare. It doesn't help.
I can seriously relate to people who become house bound. I don't think it's a wise thing to do and yet I can understand wanting to shut the world out. It can be a stupid sucking place.
Awful to think that It was around this time last year that I went on vacation and then moved my leave ahead, because I couldn't handle the work scene. It's all well and good to want justice, quite another thing to pursue it.
I'm watching one of my favourite shows, Top Gear. Don't ask me why I like a car show while at the same time, I hate cars.They always have some sort of crazy challenge Today they are double decker racing. That's were you have one car with brakes and gas, no steering, another car on top with only steering. Last week they had a remote controlled car race. Not models, but regular size cars. The world champion just happens to be a 15 year old girl.
This morning I woke up and thought my bedroom was full of smoke My eyes were doing something weird. It's gone away now. I had those electric shock jerking motions too. Not painful, just annoying, and interrupts my sleep.
I see flaws in others, but do I see my own? Why do I care what others think or feel?
How do I sort out what is important to care about and what isn't ?
For example:
Yesterday I was at the grocery store picking up some items I forgot to order. A couple in front of me at the checkout were perusing the magazines. They were discussing celebrities as though these people were a part of their lives . I just don't get why people care about who is and isn't wearing underpants. Now if my son or my mother didn't have their undies on, I would be concerned, but Britney Spears ?
Same thing happened at lunch on Friday. I was with a couple of girlfriends I haven't seen in awhile. Nice smart ladies, yet they seem to think they have the right to comment on the spouse of a particular actor, saying he could have done better. How would they like it if I said that to them ? and don't they realize that celebrities don't give a hoot what we think. Maybe the world wouldn't be in the mess it's in right now, if we were less concerned about lingerie and were taking care of business instead ?
Or maybe it's me. I should take care of my own business and let others get on with reading People. Then again I wish people would stop pushing the latest therapy in my face and tell me at least I'm not on welfare. It doesn't help.
I can seriously relate to people who become house bound. I don't think it's a wise thing to do and yet I can understand wanting to shut the world out. It can be a stupid sucking place.
Awful to think that It was around this time last year that I went on vacation and then moved my leave ahead, because I couldn't handle the work scene. It's all well and good to want justice, quite another thing to pursue it.
I'm watching one of my favourite shows, Top Gear. Don't ask me why I like a car show while at the same time, I hate cars.They always have some sort of crazy challenge Today they are double decker racing. That's were you have one car with brakes and gas, no steering, another car on top with only steering. Last week they had a remote controlled car race. Not models, but regular size cars. The world champion just happens to be a 15 year old girl.
This morning I woke up and thought my bedroom was full of smoke My eyes were doing something weird. It's gone away now. I had those electric shock jerking motions too. Not painful, just annoying, and interrupts my sleep.
Rabu, 18 Maret 2009
We Have A Precedent !!
Such amazing news at work ,A court decision on "duty to accommodate". I was laughing and crying at the same time while reading it ,as there are so many parallels to my own situation. I'll be busy writing a report citing the similarities, so I may not have time or energy for my blog. An update soon !!
Here's the case decision
Here's the case decision
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