April!!

Ahh is it really April already and have I not been blogging for so long?

My excuse this time is disenchantment with the entire internet, but most especially with social networking.

It really blew my mind when I found out  that co-workers troll the various networks like Facebook, with the express purpose of being  tattle tales.

 Imagine a person going to the big boss, to tell them how they read on a blog, (not mine) that a person on a disability pension, went on a cross border shopping trip to Buffalo.

 The disabled  individual has chronic fatigue in addition to other health problems and is obese.  I only know this because we crossed paths trying to get accommodations at work. So I guess the implication is: What is a fat, tired person, who collects a pension,  doing,  travelling all that distance to shop?

My question is:  What business is it or yours and why do you care?  And of course it's always the person who acts like they are sweetness and light who does these dirty deeds.
 
So now, until I retire I really don't feel like sharing much about my personal life, my political views, belief systems, or any other topics that busy bodies can misconstrue to do me harm. I already have enough challenges. Challenges like : the decline in my walking, ever increasing fatigue, and the sudden unexplained coughing fits that I think are due to my recent surgery. More misery to tell the doctor about next week.

Oh! just so everyone knows. I am now 100 percent legal to grow and posses my own marijuana for medical purposes. So as Lady Gratham  would say " Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!

Medical News - Not So New

Once again I have neglected my blog. At least I have an excuse. The wireless router on my computer has been acting up. Seems like I have no choice but to continue buying the latest technology, just to keep up.

Two interesting articles in the news. The first one is in regards to an MS drug that is responsible for 11 deaths due to heart failure.  I'll comment in the next paragraph. The other is about over diagnosis 


The  reasons I don't take any medications for my MS, except  medical marijuana, is due partly  to my concerns over side effects, but mainly because I don't believe they work.  

The drug mentioned in the article above is a perfect example of why.  The question I have about drugs for relapsing/ remitting MS (the type I have) is how can they say for certain any drug reduces  the number of relapses? Relapses are so random; I never know when I'll have one. Sure there are things that can bring on a relapse, such as  my recent  thyroid surgery, otherwise I can't really say for certain what brings them on nor can my doctor. So if there is no predictable way of determining how often I will have a relapse;  how  can I know for certain a drug is reducing them?

The side effects of many MS drugs can be serious, even fatal. Is it really worth the risk of heart failure for me to take a drug that possibly doesn't  truly work?


Thanks. I'll stick to my vaporizer  and suck it up. No pun intended

As for over diagnosis I am one of those people who doesn't believe that early that early diagnosis saves lives and I  believe it can actually do more harm.  There seems to be more and more research to back that up.

I never have any regular tests done, with the exception of ones for MS, and that's only because of  job.

Yep! No mammograms, colonoscopies,  pap smears, diabetes tests and so on. My blood pressure  does get a regular check, only because that seems to be the routine no matter what doctor you see.

I know  people will say that it was thanks to tests that doctors were able to diagnose my MS.  Oh and what a crazy twisted path that was for years and years. And what good did it do me?  Every six months I go to the neurologist and when I leave I still have MS, there is no cure, and not much of anything  anybody can do about it.  Am I any better off?


When I retire I will never have another MRI or any other tests and I will avoid doctors as much as possible.  Yeah that's me; wild and reckless!

The MS Card

So much I want to write about.
 When I have time, I have no energy.  When I have energy, there are so many other things that need attention. And of course when I really do need energy, MS laughs at me and  drains every drop.

The MS Card.  In some ways it is like a credit card, in the bad sense; that the MS card will always have a deficit and  it will be a temptation to use it.  What exactly do I mean by the MS card? Well I guess it is something I can use to explain why there are so many things I would like to do, but MS prevents me from doing them.

 I really hate using it, but I learned a valuable lesson that sometimes I really must.

 Example: A few weeks ago,  I was summoned to jury duty. It was clear in the summons that the trial could go on for at least three months. When I filled out the questionnaire I said that yes, I would be able to commit to that time period. Oh how stupid of me! Thank goodness the judge excused me because of my job. I guess someone involved in case had a connection to my employer.  What a mistake it would have been if I had not disclosed  my MS ( which is what I planned to do) and had been selected as a juror. Yeah I suppose I could have  begged off at a later date, however that would have required a medical certificate  and a whole lot of bother for everyone.

At the end of  my one day at court, I was  exhausted from doing not much of anything.  I came home and   tried  to revive myself:  tea, a shower, food,  a glass of wine, music. Nothing worked! Even trying a nap was painful!

 I was  miserable  sitting on the sofa and mad at myself that I was so foolish to think I could have taken on such a responsibility, yet at the same time feeling like a total loser that I couldn't.

So next time, even though it sucks to use the MS card,  I will have no choice.  I have to stop thinking that I'm still the old me that can do everything and accept that  the new me can't  do much of anything. At least not most of the time, or not when MS decides I can't.

It really sucks though , really really sucks!!

Hello 2012 - Good Riddance 2011

Decided to  use my morning coffee break to update my blog.

I really meant o do a year end wrap up a couple of weeks ago, but there was just so much going on over the holidays Some of it good, some of it really awful.

2011 was the usual roller coaster ride. The year ended on a positive note. My new "duty to accommodate" contract at work is good for a year. I only have to be in the office 10% of my time; barring any unforeseen need  to be there, like a meeting or seminar. Thank God ( and I really do mean it when I say that) .

When I received the news I broke down in tears of joy and said a prayer. All the struggles, all the hassles, that could have been avoided but that's human nature. We don't seem to be capable of admitting when we're wrong until a very long struggle has occurred. I know I had to let go of many of the small  grievances that I now see were petty and focus on the ultimate goal: to continue to work, be productive  for as long as I can, and retire with dignity.

Then there was the surgery on my thyroid which turned out to be the best case scenario. Hooray!

The saga of the tree falling on my house still continues to plague me, but only in small ways. I'm hoping my house will be back to normal by spring.

So moving on to 2012.

 I have already broken two of my resolutions To take a break from online shopping and  Ebay auctions. My excuses being that I can't resist free shipping and I simply can't face  going to a mall ! It was so great to be able to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. No crowds, no overheating, no confusion, no exhaustion. Just a  computer and a nice cup of tea.

Three of my other resolutions I have already made positive steps toward achieving. They are:  my diet ( yeah how boring of me), to do more writing (non blog related ) and the biggest and most challenging one; to eliminate emotional poison in my life.


I can no longer permit the human drama and  the  endless soap opera  to infect me. My health is at stake. I see how the negativity of others makes me get sick. If they want to live in the past, blame me for their failures, and continue to abuse themselves physically and mentally; good for them.  I'm not going to allow myself to become  fat, miserable, alcoholic, out of shape, and  irrelevant.  And for those of you trying to drag me down that path. I say goodbye to you. You aren't my friends. Hmm this sounds very  negative, but it's out of my system now.

It isn't easy to turn my back on so many family and friends; but it must be done. I want to move on. I want to hold on to those that I truly love. I want to enjoy my life for as long as this crummy MS will let me.  Oh yes there's no getting away from that monkey on my back, but  I'll save that for another post

Anyway, I'm going to do something daring here. Post a photo of myself from New Years Eve 2011. I'm doing it to show the world( that is anybody who still reads this blog)  and bust the MS stereotypes !!

Cheers everybody!!

Scotland Calls for Mandatory Vitamin D

Here's an article from The Guardian about the link between a lack of  vitamin D and MS. In Scotland, which has one of the highest rates of MS in the world, they are calling for mandatory doses of  vitamin D.

I don't know if vitamin D helps or not, but I do take at least 1000 units per day. There certainly seems to be a valid link between lack of vitamin D and MS. Why is it that it is an illness found mainly in countries with little sun in winter and nearly unknown in countries  that  get the most daylight hours?

Niagara Lights

Last weekend I was at Niagara Falls for the "Light Up the World" event. The 70th anniversary of Amnesty International.  Have to say that it was a disappointment. Just a hand full of people attended They even arranged to have the Falls lit up yellow for the event. So much for social networks being this great unifying force. I'm not on Facebook I found out about it from a friend's email ( so old school of me) but supposedly it was well promoted  there. I maintain that instead of reaching out to people; social networking only encourages cliques.  Anyway, here's some shots of the Christmas lights .

Not the best shot but it makes the full moon look like a star

 

Montreal Massacre

Today women commemorate the murder of 14 women  in Canada which happened 22 years ago.   Sadly known as the Montreal Massacre, the lone gunmen ranted about how "feminism" was responsible for all his problems.