K:Karma

K: Karma: One's action determine destiny

This karma thing is really hitting home. I think about all the dumb things I do and the end result. Nobody to blame but myself. Yet at the same time I see the  stupid actions of others having an impact on me. Does it mean that I in turn am stupid because I allow it to happen?  It's confusing. For example I'm having problems at work again ( and I really hate that my blog posts are so often about work). An individual who works on the same team as me  is seeking a work accommodation  That's fine, but they have dragged me into their mess. What a mess too!!  I tried to explain to this person that just because they can't get the same accomodation as me (working at home ) doesn't mean that they should try to wreck what I have. But that seems to be the way people operate at my office.

How dumb of me to think that being open and honest about my MS was right.  It's being used against me and I'm really am getting fed up. I can't even think about the future  because it just looks so bleak. All I can do is live day to day and hope for the best. Not something I'm very good at;  but I'm learning.

My plan to design and sell an MS bracelet is out. There are so many people out there who are already doing this and there are so many different fundraisers . One person selling Avon to raise money for a friend's MS surgery. Another selling bracelets and having an MS fund raising dinner for the same reason. I didn't want to raise money for myself. I wanted to give the money to keep going  the legal action for CCSVI surgery. Now I guess I will just give my own money and try and come up with another way to rise some cash for this cause.

OK now I have to review my entire blog for any work references. Have to prepare myself for a new battle; which is really the same old battle. It sucks!!