Music Is Good For The Soul

Like clock work every morning when I was a young girl waking up in the morning for school, the first song played on the radio station. God works in mysterious ways; little did I know the first song would have such a profound meaning to me today at this very moment. The second song was my anthem when I was in a terrible first marriage. It brought me through the darkest moments in my life and it will bring me through the darkest moments of multiple sclerosis.

I know longer ask why me for being stricken with multiple sclerosis. I accepted my faith and I try to live the most productive life I can, but it just seems as if there is a force that try to keep you down. That force for me is PAIN, every time I think I have conquered or found a remedy to help me with my PAIN it rears it's head in another direction.

I promised myself when I allowed PAIN to get the best of me in July I would NEVER EVER get that desperate to rid myself of PAIN. Therefore, this PAIN in my HEAD that is whipping my a** step back because I will not allow you to get the best of me. Because...

Jesus Is The Best Thing
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And

I Will Survive
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Side personal message to this second video.

Ladies and men (if it applies)...listen carefully to the words in "I Will Survive" if you are in an unfulfilling, abusive relationship this song will eventually get through to you. It will give you the strength to move on and it is best to move on while you still have love in your heart. If you have children don't waste it on someone because of the children, you will be doing them more harm than good if you stay.

Yes, it is scary to step out on your own especially if you entered the relationship as one and you are leaving with an additional two (in my case). As I look back leaving my daughters father when they were very young was the bravest act in my life. Had I listen to my father and stayed because of the children I might have ended up like Nicole Brwon Simpson or Mary Winkler and Men you can end up like many of the men showcased on "Snapped".

You can't change the other person in a bad relationship; you can only inventory yourself and changed your negative behavior you may have adapted in the unhealthy relationship. I always prayed for a loving man and I started to think they did not exist, that's only in the movies. I thank God everyday I took the leap of faith to open my heart again because the way my present husband and I met, it was meant to be.

I literally had one foot out the door because I did not see a mutual friend of ours at the time at her birthday party. It was he my (soul-mate) who located our mutual friend to stop me from leaving the party because I did not see her after arriving and searching the establishment looking for her. You see my husband and I did not travel the same social circle that night was the first and could have been the last night we would have had a chance meeting.

Because of him my daughters had an upbringing with a man that is more their father than their biological father could ever be. I will never understand a man or women who pull their emotional support from a child when the relationship ends. I thank GOD every day for stopping me from leaving that birthday party in September 1991. When I allowed opening my heart again and eventually introducing my soul mate to my daughters nine months later, my life forever changed. I allowed myself to love again without taking my past baggage and baggage with me.


I was blessed with a man who was not afraid to show his love me and my daughters and did the same with his son and daughter. He provided me with a man that did not pull his emotional support from his biological children. He provided me with a man who rescued his children from a mother who did not and would not protect them from the man in her life. He provided me with a man who worked and works hard to provide his family with a comfortable life and who wasn't afraid to tell us NO. He provided me with the strongest, smartest, loving, and compassionate man I know. Who would have thought I would be living my dreams of a perfect relationship while I live with an illness that is so unpredictable it would make most people run for the border.

If he could I know he would take away my PAIN from ms and take it upon him so I could be pain free. The words in the song "I Will Survive" saved my life in more ways than one. Finally, heed the words in the song and move on from an unhealthy relationship.

Thank You For The Memory

I read about Mr. Ernest C. Withers in my Arts Appreciation class. One day in the summer of 2005, my husband and I were enjoying a beautiful mild summer day walking Beale Street. We noticed Mr. Withers photography studio, I suggested we go in because maybe we would have a chance to look at some historic pictures. To my surprise Mr. Withers was there sitting in his oversize chair, I was honored to be in the presence of famous photojournalist. He shared his story and pictures photographing history with us. Spending time in Mr. Withers studio that summer is one of the most memorable moments in my life and I dedicate this post to his memory and thank him for documenting a part of my history in photographs. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Rest in Peace Mr. Ernest C. Withers

Nerve Pain Is Different

In the beginning it was hard for me to distinguish my pain because I experience pain in the joints, muscle, and nerves. All I knew was I was in pain and I wanted it to stop. Now that I know how to distinguish my pain, I know what pain medication works for me which is Cymbalta for my nerve pain and the Duragesic patch for my joint and muscle pain.

The following is an article from the National Multiple Sclerosis Society Mid South Chapter newsletter called the Connection. It is about nerve pain and I can vouch for Cymbalta when it comes to nerve pain it is also an anti-depressant. That’s one capsule that attacks two symptoms of MS and I highly recommend it over Neurontin. Why take three Neurontins a day that only helps with nerve pain when you can take one Cymbalta that helps with nerve pain and depression?

All pain is transmitted by nerves, but nerve pain is different. "Phantom limb pain" is a vivid example of "neuropathic" or nerve pain. This type of pain originates in the central nervous system in injured nerve pathways, not in the bones or muscles. A person with phantom limb pain feels pain in a body part that was amputated in the past.

MS lesions can injure nerve pathways and produce neuropathic pain - or unpleasant sensations called dysethesias (or "di-es-THESE-ee-ahs"). The burning, aching, stabbing, prickling, or itching may start and stop or drag on. MS lesions may also cause "allodynia" (Al-oh-DIN-ee-ah") - which is pain from something that shouldn't be painful. A soft touch, the weight of bed covers; even a cool breeze can be the trigger.

Neuropathic pain is not soothed by the over-the-counter medications that work on muscle pain. Even powerful prescription medications such as Percocet, Lortab, Oxycontin, or Darvocet are not effective for this kind of pain.

Instead, physicians need to prescribe medications that work on nerves. They may be anti-convulsants (such as Tegretol, Dilantin, or Neurontin), antidepressants (such as Elavil), or new drugs approved for diabetic pain (such as Lyrica or Cymbalta). It's not uncommon to try out several drugs to find what works best.

Super Bowl Here We Come

The Associated Press said it best "The unflappable Romo overcame five interceptions and a lost fumble to lead two last-minute drives, and rookie Nick Folk kicked a 53-yard field goal as time expired, giving the Dallas Cowboys an improbable 25-24 victory over the Buffalo Bills on Monday night". Sorry Bills I know that was a hard loss.

I can't wait for Sunday mega match up against the New England Patriots.

Get Well Soon

For some odd reason Disabled Not Dead blog site freezes when I visit. Anne, if you are able to surf the blogoshpere while you are dealing with your pain, I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope the pain in your jaw gets better. I truly know how you are feeling right now and I pray that pain don't last too long in your jaw.

I once had that jaw pain and I went to the dentist thinking that was the doctor to see. Turns out it was not a problem for the dentist it was pain from having a multiple sclerosis flare. Thankfully for me it lasted three days. I pray it is a flare that will not last long for you and nothing more serious. Take care of yourself and I will continue to check in on you.


While I am at it I also want to wish nothing but good news for NewComa from her doctors.

Inviting Myself

Technology is so advanced I am going to put on a pair of those funny looking google glasses and virtually join Mdmhvonpa and his family on vacation.

The Best Medicine

After all that cooking this weekend, I had a hard time getting up and moving about. Thankfully, I already baked my pineapple upside down cake for dessert. I put on a new Duragesic patch and in a matter of minutes I felt doped. I felt like I was floating and out of body it scared me. The last time I felt that doped up was when I was on a higher micro gram of morphine. I was alarmed to feel that way immediately on such a low dosage.

I hate feeling doped because I am not in control and I flashback to when I had a toxic reaction to methrotrexate. My breathing became a little shallow and my instinct was to take the patch off. I didn’t want to take the patch off because the pain in my legs dissipated. I played devils advocate and told myself no matter what if my breathing and doped up feeling didn’t go away within two hours I was going to remove the patch.
I drifted off to sleep and I thought I heard voices over me, when I open one eye my little man said, “Hi Nana” with the biggest smile and jumped on the bed and gave me a big hug. My daughters asked if I was okay because I was in bed, I didn’t want to worry them and told them I was fine, dinner was ready and I will be down in a minute. This Sunday was very special to me because all my girls and my favorite little man was over visiting. It’s been awhile since all of them were home together.

I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be in the kitchen to cook Sunday’s dinner. Thankfully, I prepared so much food the prior two days I didn’t have to. I had some turkey legs I smoked in the freezer. I defrost my smoke turkey legs and cut the meat off the bones and made a light gravy and poured it over the legs and threw them in the oven. I took a container of pinto beans, chicken/sausage gumbo, and green beans out and placed them on top of the stove to heat. Made a pot of rice in my rice cooker and walked away. The only item I had to prepare was a pan of cornbread and my dinner was complete for Sunday without breaking a sweat or stumbling around.

LOVE is the BEST medicine around!