FATIGUE !! Yes in big fat capital letters. I'm not yelling; I can't, because I'm too tired. Yet tired isn't the right word. Wasted seems more appropriate, and lassitude : "Languor","disinclination to exert or interest oneself".
I'm disinclined because I don't like starting things and not finshing them. Too many half completed projects, stuff piling up, jobs postponed, makes me edgy, makes me feel like a failure.
But what can I do? If I sit quietly and watch a movie, I am so aware of how weak I feel. I get up, start doing something, and become even more aware of how weak I really am. I do my job and after a couple of hours; lose my concentration, feel like the life is sucked out of me. I know if I put in a full day, that my evening will be a complete waste and I'll be back on the couch watching a movie. And around and around I go.
There are no words to describe what a crappy feeling it is.
I avoid those who tell me to perk up, take more vitamins tell me I'm feeling sorry for myself, or that I'm lazy etc. etc. You know; maybe I would be friendlier if you would just quit bugging me. What ever happened to being there for someone, just being there.
Now I feel disinclined to go on with this post because it serves no purpose. That doesn't mean I'm giving up
No, I'll keep going. I just need to take lots of breaks and I hate that.
Kamis, 28 Oktober 2010
Rabu, 20 Oktober 2010
Canada Is OK
This morning I was getting my usual international news fix from BBC World. There was much discussion of the austerity measures in Europe. I thought I was hearing things when a critic of the British plan complimented Canada (and Sweden) for sound fiscal management. Yeah that's why out of all the big economies Canada is doing OK.
It sure was a different story a few years ago when Canada, was mocked for having too much state intervention in the banking sector. The Liberal government of the time was harshly critisized for not allowing bank mergers and all the other crap that now has most countries in a tailspin. The mantra just a few short years ago was" let government get out of the way of business so they can do what they must to make money" Gee that didn't work out so great did it?
I remember the Wall Street Journal describing Canada as a" bankrupt third world country" Oh Canada with your socialized medicine and your welfare state. You pot smoking gay commies!! You are headed straight to hell!
If this is hell , stoke the fires, and let us burn, because it feels pretty good.
Britain is going to cut half a million public sector jobs. Where exactly are these people going to find jobs and how is that going to improve Britain's economy ? Yeah put on your fast food uniform and do your bit to help
your country.
Last week I voted in favour of a new work contract. A modest raise and another day off. Not bad considering whats going on elsewhere in the world. I'm just glad I'm hanging in, can still work, and still have a job.
In November I'm going to a conference about CCSVI and MS. I was invited by the hospital In Albany, NY where I signed up for clinical trials. Don't know what else there is to talk about but I'm willing to listen.
It sure was a different story a few years ago when Canada, was mocked for having too much state intervention in the banking sector. The Liberal government of the time was harshly critisized for not allowing bank mergers and all the other crap that now has most countries in a tailspin. The mantra just a few short years ago was" let government get out of the way of business so they can do what they must to make money" Gee that didn't work out so great did it?
I remember the Wall Street Journal describing Canada as a" bankrupt third world country" Oh Canada with your socialized medicine and your welfare state. You pot smoking gay commies!! You are headed straight to hell!
If this is hell , stoke the fires, and let us burn, because it feels pretty good.
Britain is going to cut half a million public sector jobs. Where exactly are these people going to find jobs and how is that going to improve Britain's economy ? Yeah put on your fast food uniform and do your bit to help
your country.
Last week I voted in favour of a new work contract. A modest raise and another day off. Not bad considering whats going on elsewhere in the world. I'm just glad I'm hanging in, can still work, and still have a job.
In November I'm going to a conference about CCSVI and MS. I was invited by the hospital In Albany, NY where I signed up for clinical trials. Don't know what else there is to talk about but I'm willing to listen.
Kamis, 14 Oktober 2010
Wonder Why I'm Cynical?
What a way to start my morning reading this article in the Toronto Star.
Oh MS Society!! What will you do now that even your board members are going overseas to have CCSVI surgery, while you side with others to deny Canadian MS patients this very thing!!.
You have lost your credibility.
Oh MS Society!! What will you do now that even your board members are going overseas to have CCSVI surgery, while you side with others to deny Canadian MS patients this very thing!!.
You have lost your credibility.
Selasa, 12 Oktober 2010
Garlic Thanksgiving
What a beautiful Thanks giving weekend! The weather sunny and mild, perfect for walking AND no need for cooler packs !! I managed to climb the 165 stairs from the harbour trail to the street. OK I needed lots of breaks, but I did it.
My turkey and pumpkin pie turned out great if I am allowed to compliment myself. The only downer was yesterday with me dropping the remaining pie and breaking my good ceramic baking dish. I drop things all the time and with ceramic tile floors that means lots of broken dishes. I don't know if that's an MS thing. I do know that my hands aren't as strong as they use to be.
I did as Mr. Carrot asked; planted some garlic bulbs. Looking forward to my crop next summer, even if I'm not looking forward to the hot humid weather. Yes this summer was a challenge. I would never have survived without air conditioning, which worries me. What happens when I can no longer afford the electric bill that is going up more and more?
My last bill for August and September was a real whopper. We have a new billing system called "Peak Saver" where they give you a chart showing "peak"" mid peak" and "off peak" hours. "Peak" costs twice as much as "off peak". That's fine if you want to save money running certain appliances, like using the dishwasher after 9:00 p.m. The air conditioner usually runs during peak time and less during off peak. That means big bucks to stay cool. In future it may be necessary to lobby for a discount to those of us who really need air conditioning to survive?
Now some of you might say that cool air is a luxury, not a necessity, but I'm telling you that the heat was a killer for me this summer. The only way I could go out for a walk was if I my clothes were stuffed with cold packs. Even then there were some days when I just couldn't do it. Forget about going out mid day; impossible, unless you want an ambulance picking me up. Yeah that's how bad it is.
OK so now winter is coming and I will have the heating bill to complain about. Are there any places in the world with moderate temperatures?
My turkey and pumpkin pie turned out great if I am allowed to compliment myself. The only downer was yesterday with me dropping the remaining pie and breaking my good ceramic baking dish. I drop things all the time and with ceramic tile floors that means lots of broken dishes. I don't know if that's an MS thing. I do know that my hands aren't as strong as they use to be.
I did as Mr. Carrot asked; planted some garlic bulbs. Looking forward to my crop next summer, even if I'm not looking forward to the hot humid weather. Yes this summer was a challenge. I would never have survived without air conditioning, which worries me. What happens when I can no longer afford the electric bill that is going up more and more?
My last bill for August and September was a real whopper. We have a new billing system called "Peak Saver" where they give you a chart showing "peak"" mid peak" and "off peak" hours. "Peak" costs twice as much as "off peak". That's fine if you want to save money running certain appliances, like using the dishwasher after 9:00 p.m. The air conditioner usually runs during peak time and less during off peak. That means big bucks to stay cool. In future it may be necessary to lobby for a discount to those of us who really need air conditioning to survive?
Now some of you might say that cool air is a luxury, not a necessity, but I'm telling you that the heat was a killer for me this summer. The only way I could go out for a walk was if I my clothes were stuffed with cold packs. Even then there were some days when I just couldn't do it. Forget about going out mid day; impossible, unless you want an ambulance picking me up. Yeah that's how bad it is.
OK so now winter is coming and I will have the heating bill to complain about. Are there any places in the world with moderate temperatures?
Selasa, 05 Oktober 2010
So Much Art
Here's a few shots from the James Street Mega Art Crawl and Nuit Blanche in Toronto. I needed a few days to recover after each event (more on the return of super fatigue later). Soul food does me good and what better soul food than art? Huge murals and fire were the themes that stood out most. There was a multi media event at Toronto city hall featuring Neil Young and many other musicians in "Later That Night At the Drive In" The crowds were so massive though, I couldn't get any photos. Good to know an old guy like him can still rock and sound fresh.
Everybody wants to be Michaelangelo!!
A cut out!!
Another Mr. Carrot!!
Sabtu, 25 September 2010
A Vocal Minority?
Here's another article about the angioplasty backlash
Ahh! poor doctors. Their patients are angry and vocal about not receiving treatment. An angry minority.
I don't think we are a minority, but yes we are angry. Angry because all those years you claim to have dedicated to finding a cure have resulted in NOTHING!!!!
Nothing except more drugs!! Youv'e never had to justify your research; wether it is leading to anything promising. You've never been scrutinized and attacked the way Dr. Zamboni has been. Never had to prove that any of the drugs you prescribe actually work.
We, the MS community, are too quick to embrace this new therapy? Well dear doctors you were too quick to dismiss it. You blame the media for causing this controversy? Well you didn't waste any time grabbing national headlines calling CCSVI a hoax, only to back track a week later because you might be able to score some research dollars. Ha! you tell MS patients about the dangers of angioplasty? Oh we might get a blood clot? You aren't vascular surgeons, you are nuerologists. Stick to what you know, which when it comes to MS doesn't seem to be a whole heck of a lot.
Yeah some patients are afraid to speak out because their doctors will dump them if they dare even ask about CCSVI.
Please answer this question dear doctors and then maybe I will shut up about angioplasty Tell me what have I got to lose having this treatment? AND then tell me what you have to offer that is better.
Ahh! poor doctors. Their patients are angry and vocal about not receiving treatment. An angry minority.
I don't think we are a minority, but yes we are angry. Angry because all those years you claim to have dedicated to finding a cure have resulted in NOTHING!!!!
Nothing except more drugs!! Youv'e never had to justify your research; wether it is leading to anything promising. You've never been scrutinized and attacked the way Dr. Zamboni has been. Never had to prove that any of the drugs you prescribe actually work.
We, the MS community, are too quick to embrace this new therapy? Well dear doctors you were too quick to dismiss it. You blame the media for causing this controversy? Well you didn't waste any time grabbing national headlines calling CCSVI a hoax, only to back track a week later because you might be able to score some research dollars. Ha! you tell MS patients about the dangers of angioplasty? Oh we might get a blood clot? You aren't vascular surgeons, you are nuerologists. Stick to what you know, which when it comes to MS doesn't seem to be a whole heck of a lot.
Yeah some patients are afraid to speak out because their doctors will dump them if they dare even ask about CCSVI.
Please answer this question dear doctors and then maybe I will shut up about angioplasty Tell me what have I got to lose having this treatment? AND then tell me what you have to offer that is better.
Selasa, 21 September 2010
The Latest MS News
Here's an article about the rally on Parlaiment Hill yesterday I wanted to attend this rally but I wasn't up for a five hour drive to Ottawa. Gee what do you know? The health minister had a previous engagement. She should be sacked for her whishy washy bungling of this issue.
Here's an editorial from the National Post about allowing MS patients the right to have angioplasy. What really annoys me about this editorial is even though it's calling on the governemnt to do the right thing, the writer is ignorant of the facts. First of all, we know that angioplasy isn't a cure for MS, secondly, this research and procedure are only controversial because the medical community contines to make bold claims it doesn't work, and thirdly why the heck should I have to pay for this procedure when we have universal healthcare, which I pay plenty for. At least the editorial supports allowing patients to go ahead if they are willing to pay, which I am. I just don't want to go to a foreign country to have it done.
Consider this: If people are allowed to pay to get boob implants and are covered to get an elastic band wrapped around their stomach to lose weight; why can't I be alowed to have a simple operation to improve my health ? Did they have clinical trials for breast implants?
The MS community is not a bunch of dim witted incompetents. We are well informed, have an excellent newtwork, and we care about each other! Stop treating us like dummies!!
Lastly I need to come up with an idea to raise money for the class action suit. It's going to be rough what with all the fake charities being uncovered lately. Anybody have ideas?
Here's an editorial from the National Post about allowing MS patients the right to have angioplasy. What really annoys me about this editorial is even though it's calling on the governemnt to do the right thing, the writer is ignorant of the facts. First of all, we know that angioplasy isn't a cure for MS, secondly, this research and procedure are only controversial because the medical community contines to make bold claims it doesn't work, and thirdly why the heck should I have to pay for this procedure when we have universal healthcare, which I pay plenty for. At least the editorial supports allowing patients to go ahead if they are willing to pay, which I am. I just don't want to go to a foreign country to have it done.
Consider this: If people are allowed to pay to get boob implants and are covered to get an elastic band wrapped around their stomach to lose weight; why can't I be alowed to have a simple operation to improve my health ? Did they have clinical trials for breast implants?
The MS community is not a bunch of dim witted incompetents. We are well informed, have an excellent newtwork, and we care about each other! Stop treating us like dummies!!
Lastly I need to come up with an idea to raise money for the class action suit. It's going to be rough what with all the fake charities being uncovered lately. Anybody have ideas?
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