Keep On Moving

Sunday night I took a Tizanidine because I felt spasticity creeping in my legs. I felt the tightness and pain from my calves down to my ankles. I was grateful it waited until after my weekend ended before it started.

When I was given Tizanidine to take for spasticity, it was prescribed take one tablet every three hours. I did just that in the beginning, but I did not see the need to continue taking it once I was no longer experiencing spasticity in my body. Tizanidine was put in my take as needed category because it did the job after a day. Well, I was so lucky this time around, when I woke the next day, I did not feel the tightness and pain while I was lying in bed.

The minute I stood up and tried to walk my legs felt like concrete, every step was painful and my balance was shaky. I had no choice but to painfully make my way to the monstrous looking four-prong cane because I need assistance to keep from falling. I hated it when my doctor ordered me a four-prong cane and I was determined not to ever use it.

I thought to myself, “God, please don’t do this to me now after I had such a beautiful weekend and I have been feeling better since I have not been injecting myself with Copaxone”. It is funny how quick the mind thinks the worst and how easy it is to start feeling depressed when your way of life is threaten. I pushed the negative thoughts out of my mind and replaced them with positive ones. I put a plan of action together. First, I had to get rid of my vanity and accept the fact I need the help of my cane for now. I used my cane as I moved about my house and stayed off my legs as much as possible. Monday I completely rest in bed all day.

I decided not to pump myself with Tizanidine after taking it for a day and I refused to take Lortab 10mg to combat the breakthrough pain I was feeling from the spasticity. The morphine I have going into my body 24/7 is enough and I am trying to breakaway from taking Lortab whenever I have breakthrough pain. My goal is not to become heavily dependent on medication, I been there and done that. Since I have been on Duragesic patches, I noticed many of the daily symptoms I use to feel from MS are far between. I dwindled myself down from the many prescription drugs I am prescribed and my goal is to continue the Duragesic patch and a treatment to slow the progression of MS...Tysabri. I prefer to keep the other prescribed drugs as needed and my hope is I will not need them often.

My legs are feeling better and I do not need the aid of my cane, I credit rest, not allowing myself to become depress over my concrete legs, and accepting the reality my life is subject to change. For now I can keep on moving! I realize it is how I approach the changes when they occur because for now the changes are temporary when they happen. If a permanent change eventually happen I will deal with it when the time come.

Morphine and MS

The patch starts at 25mcg and of course that is what I was started on. It was too much for my body to handle after three weeks of continuous morphine going into by body. I talked about how good I felt on the morphine patch and how it turned on me. Well, I am happy to annouce the patch comes in a lower dose of 12mcg…it just came on the market. My pharmacist told me when I inquired if I can cut the 25mcg patch in half. The lower dose patch was so new neurologists and doctors did not know the morphine patch came in a lower dosage. I called my Neurologist and informed her about the lower dosage and we decided to see if having a lower dose patch would work for me.

On September 27 it will be one month I have been wearing a 12mcg Fentanyl/Duragesic patch. I have not been feeling the daily nerve tingles through out my body and my pain is about non existent. I only had to take Lortab 10mg every now and then for break thru pain. I am able to function more now that I do not have to take the numerous pills I had to take prior to wearing the patch.

I know what is working for me may not work for others, but that is why I blog and talk to others about what works for me because what is working for me might just work for you. My goal was to not take so much medicine on a daily basis and for the last month wearing the lowest micro gram of morphine has helped me reach that goal. I now only wear the patch take my Copaxone injection daily and take one or two Lortabs a week. That is a far cry from taking 10 different prescriptions on a daily basis.

The only problem I have now is getting use to taking the injections again after stopping for thirty days when I considered taking Tysabri. I am not going to lie… it still hurts like hell every time I push that needle, but Copaxone is working and I have to do what I have to do.

Here I Go Again...

Until Montel Williams,advocate organizations and average citizens continue to help support the passage of bill H.R 1717 (Truth and Trials Act) passed and help get Tennessee twin medicinal marijuana bills H.B.0486and S.B. 0641 passed. I and many others have no choice but to continue to take man made prescription pain medication with unbearable side effects that can be potentially deadly to get relief from the severe pain while living with a chronic illness with no cure.

I thought the Duragesic morphine patch was my answer to be rid of the pain and nerve tingles. I told you what happened while wearing the patch. Today I am to start taking Kadian 20mg which is a morphine capsule. My doctor logic is the patch was dispensing morphine in my body 24/7 and it became too much for my body to handle. By taking the morphine capsule I can skip a day or two between dosages to keep the severe pain away.

I am not looking forward to ingesting morphine again, but I will if my pain return to this point in my life again. For the moment I believe I still have enough morphine in my system where I can control the intensity of the pain with Lortab. I am hoping once I start the Tsyabri infusion in September, there would be no need for me to take morphine. I am hearing good things about Tsyabri; I hope it works for me. If it don’t I guess I will be back to injecting myself with Copaxoneeveryday to slow the progression of lesions in my brain that is slowing destroying my central nervous system.

Playing Doctor

Staying off the patch didn’t last long. My doctors didn’t like the decision I made about taking the patch off just because my pain was gone. To make a long story short it is in my best interest to keep wearing the patch. They did tell me the nodding I experience will decrease the longer I wear the patch. In the first week I only experience the nausea, vomiting, and itching for two days. I also have something I can take if those symptoms arise again. I guess I better listen to the professionals and stop playing doctor.

Therefore, if I am feeling impaired I will stay my behind at home until I have someone to drive me. It sucks, but I have to do what I have to do.

My Week On The Patch

I was very skeptical of the morphine patch Duragesic 25mcg because all I could envision is me drooling from the mouth and nodding in and out of conscious. When mild painkillers stop working to stop my pain, I was prescribed several addictive type pain killers such as Percocet and Lortab 10mg. I could not tolerate Percocet, but I could tolerate Lortab 10mg. To not become dependent daily on Lortab I only would take them when my pain level was past a 10 according to the medical pain chart. When my pain is not past a 10 I do not take Lortab. With my recent episode of sever pain Lortab did not give me any relief, therefore I was prescribed morphine patches.

To my surprise I did not drool, but I did nod in and out of conscious. My nodding in and out was not like I envision, it mainly happened when I was not busy. The first day on the patch I felt like a brand new woman, I felt like I was normal, I had absolutely no pain, I felt like the vigorous woman I was before I became sick. I embrace that day feeling like I could conquer the world. Then reality hit me, I became concern about becoming dependent on the patch, I quickly dismissed the reality of being dependent on the patch as long as I continued to feel the way I was feeling.

I experienced nausea, vomiting, itching and sleepiness on my second day wearing the patch. I became a little depress because I thought about how good I felt the day before. I did not stay depress long, I knew there were side effects and I just prayed the side effects did not last long or become so bothersome to the point I had to take the patch off. I took Meclizine 25mg and Hydroxyzine HCL 25mg for the nausea, vomiting, and itching. Although I experienced all of that on my second day I still felt great because I was PAIN FREE for two days in the row. In my mind I could live with the nausea, vomiting and itching as long as I did not have PAIN. Fortunately, the prescriptions I took to combat the nausea, vomiting, and itching worked and I no longer felt those symptoms.

I went seven days without having any PAIN, therefore, in my book the patch work if you suffer with severe pain. In my opinion the downside of using the patch is your body is continually receiving morphine 24/7. My husband brought something to my attention, he said, “Although, you are feeling good by not having any pain and you are functioning, you have drugs in your system that can cause you to nod off. You need to have a driver because you can nod off while driving.” We debated the issue and I realized he was right. I also realized I couldn’t continue to wear the patch daily like my doctors prescribed it. I had to treat the patch like I treat the medications I have that can become addictive. I only take certain medications the doctors prescribed to combat the symptoms of my multiple sclerosis on an as needed basis.

As of today I took the patch off. The severe pain I experienced the past several weeks is gone. I am no fool to think my pain will not return because I have been living with constant pain everyday for years. My body built a tolerance level to pain and I learned how to live with that. I have witnessed friends of mine who live with pain, but they are totally dependent on addictive medication to the point were they actually have no life. I on the other hand have a life that I enjoy and I cannot be dependent on addictive medication to continue the life I live.

I now know when the severe pain I suffered in the last several weeks returns I have something to take for it. I guess I will know in the coming days if the patch will become a permanent fixture in my life or a temporary fix when I need it. I pray it will be for a temporary fix.