Nurse Practitioner Clinics

I promised I would post this photo of the Ukrainian Church . So here it is ! That's where I was when I got caught in the snow storm.What a day that was.


The Ontario government announced the opening of 25 nurse practitioner clinics .
This is due to the family doctor shortage, which is acute in remote areas. Nobody wants much to be a family doctor,nor do they want to practice in a small town.I guess it isn't cool to be one and you don't make the big bucks.
I don't know very much about these clinics .I got in touch with a nurse friend out in B.C. to ask what she thinks. I'll do a post once I find out. Anybody have experience with them ?

Bad weekend for me. I don't seem to be able to handle the cold at all anymore.Not the best place for me to be living then. Is it?

Another meeting this coming Friday, when management gets their last kick at the can
(me).Then I'm not sure what will happen.My rep keeps on telling me it will be a good outcome, so I will try to believe that. What else can I do ?

Fall Girl

Had another fall,the fourth one now this winter. A real spectacular one. The entire right side of my body is sore ouch, ouch. At least I can walk normally and since I'm an almost total left hander can still work. This time I can't say it has anything to do with MS. It's simply that the sidewalks and roads are skating rinks,with lots of black ice out there. I have to give up my morning short cut and stick to the heavily salted main streets. The temperatures are supposed to be above normal all week going up to 11C today. That should get rid of the mess. It would be nice to not have anymore snow, but that's very unrealistic.

Had another very long,boring,meeting yesterday about my medical accommodation.A woman who is on the new team reviewing all the claims, and my union rep,trying to sort out the whole mess. They have decided the best way to proceed is to cut out the middle men/women, and go to the top.I certainly have more than enough documentation! They can never say(management) I didn't go through the proper channels(which got me nowhere) or that I didn't cooperate fully. In fact I was told I gave too much information and was too co operative. Well, I think that the old saying "give them enough rope" applies, and will work to my advantage.I also know that I'm not alone in having my case drag on endlessly.

One thing is certain. I can't handle anymore of these long meetings.I came out of that one exhausted and feeling feverish. My rep is going alone to the next one on Thursday. I think that best. She's a good speaker,has lots of confidence and has been through all this herself. I'll post an update later in the week. Maybe with some good news? (son in background :"we've heard that before")

I really wish on the morning news they wouldn't show a report about a mummy casket being opened. Doesn't go well with my bagel and tea.

Another Test

Strange weather out there. Europe having huge snow storms and we a big melt. On the news this morning I saw London practically shut down, no buses, very little traffic.

Wiarton Willie has declared six more weeks of winter. Blah

It was a bit tricky for to walk around today, between the puddles and the ice.I did manage to get over to the old court house, which is now the downtown campus of Mc Master University
Took a few photos with my camera phone . Above you can see the statue of United Empire Loyalists. I'll have to go back when all the snow is gone to get a better shot.

Spoke to the doctor today about my hands, as the tingling is getting worse. He is sending me for another test similar to the EVP only I can't remember what he called it Guess I'll find out when I get the letter for the appointment time. I really didn't want to call him It makes me feel like a whining hypochondriac and if it wasn't for work I probably wouldn't . Everything needs to be documented.

Health Central sent me an email today about the take over of Wellsphere. I get the impression it will remain a as separate website. If that is so,I'm going to go back to it tomorrow and maybe link my blog again .


Don't think I'll be going to work tomorrow I'm a total wreck and I have awful soreness in my heels ! Have no idea why. I'll finish watching this Kung Fu movie which is a weird one tonight. Alcoholic Buddhist monks ? The dubbing is so bad I'm sure he isn't saying" We monks think nothing of this wine. We call it rice nugget tea " as he takes a huge gulp.

Fun While It Lasted

A couple of weeks ago I joined Wellsphere, a health website, only to find out today it's been taken over by Health Central. Which is too bad as I'm a believer in " smaller is better". If it remains a separate entity I will stick around, otherwise, I'll pass . Not that I have anything against Health Central, it's just too big and they already have loads of MS bloggers on it. I'll have to get rid of my little award too. I put it on here simply to direct traffic to the site, because I thought it was worth checking out. It's really just a symbolic award and has no significance. I would hate anyone to get the idea that I'm some big MS expert. No, I don't think I'll ever figure it out.

Had an awful day. I was a zombie and this tingling is a nuisance. Nothing makes it go away.

If the weather isn't too bad tomorrow I'll get the camera out again I'm taking part in a small photo project. A lady in Taiwan sent me a postcard with a picture of a teddy bear on it that her artist friend made. I have to take the card and take a photo of it. I think a shot of a big pile of snow will be a typical Canadian scene and we have lots of it right now. I'll post the pictures here on the weekend if I take any.
Now I have to go have a look at herrad's blog, so I can post a link to it.

At Least The Chocolates Are On Sale

Today fool that I am I had a brief moment of optimism. Ha Ha . Everything was going smoothly The guys were making progress with the basement work The washing machine was delivered without a hitch., although they did have to remove a door. (see post below) The basement guy offered to set up the machine which is just as well, as the power cord was packed behind a panel that had to be removed with a socket wrench and a piece of Styrofoam was lodged behind that.
Yeah everything was going fine The guys left ,I had dinner, and decided to try out the washer.
Well now the electric outlet is not working and there isn't another close by . I tried using an extension cord to another plug just to try the machine ,but that didn't work. . The basement guy said he will drop by tomorrow and take a look at it. He may have broken the plug during the demo work.

I won't even bother to go into anything about work(it sucks as usual). how bitter cold it is outside and what a lousy job the city does clearing the streets of snow. I felt like I was mountain climbing on my walks to and from work.
I suppose it's good exercise.

At least the all chocolates and other Christmas items were on sale half price today.
I bought myself the biggest box of the best chocolates and a few boxes for treats for others.
Mmm so good. Lindt Swiss chocolates.

I sure hope I can do some laundry before Christmas.

I feel very very tired this evening and itchy.

Oh yeah guess what the guys found in an old cupboard under the stairs I have never used or even opened ? No not any valuable antiques . A bunch of empty liquor bottles(Jack Daniels), porno mags, and empty prescription drug bottles!

No Faith

It would be nice to think that tomorrow everything will go smoothly The washer will be delivered , set up, and working. The guy will finish the work in the basement. I will come home from work, put everything back in place and it will all be fine.

Only I know none of that is likely. I got a call this evening to confirm delivery of the washer. I was told delivery time was " between 8:30 a.m. and who knows" and I'm ninth on the list. So you know what will happen.The delivery guys will show up at 6:00p.m when it's dark, they will moan and groan about how these old houses are so narrow, they will piddle around trying to get the stupid washer downstairs, they will contemplate removing the doors (unnecessary) I won't have the proper hoses for the connections. The guy won't be able to finish the work in the the basement due to the above. The house will be a mess. I will be exhausted and not care.

Yeah I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, especially with more of the same ugly weather.
What fun.
I 'm oh so very tired this evening.

A Cookie A Day

Here's something that I thought I would share . If you like cookies you'll love the"Cookie a Day" advent calendar. Everyday from now till Christmas, follow this link, click on the Christmas tree, and get a cookie recipe. Even if you don't bake you might get some ideas for cookies you'd like to try. The super markets and bakeries all have special cookies this time of year so you should be able to buy them.

Otherwise it's been a very strange day The weather couldn't make up it's mind; going from snow, to rain, to sleet, to freezing rain and back again . The politicians are behaving badly too. It will be interesting to see next Monday, if we end up with a coalition of parties running the country or if the Prime Minister will simply close parliament early to avoid a no confidence vote, on the Tory economic statement . At least I get a reprieve from possible wage cut backs although that could still happen. Regardless I'm putting in my request to take the summer off again. If things go badly I can always cancel it. Sure hope I don't have to.

Nostalgia and the Weather.

Yesterday evening I was feeling too awful to do anything ,much less blogging. Even eating my dinner was an effort. I flopped on the couch and watched two concerts on the PBS channel which they should rename the "Boomer" channel . One concert was Queen, in Montreal 1982 and the other The Who, in Kilburn 1977. I'm not a fanatic about either band, not like some people for whom rock music is a religion. They were good concerts and helped get me through a very depressing, rainy, gloomy , night. A bit of nostalgia too, as they reminded me of an old boyfriend, and of my brother and his kooky air guitar playing friends.

I was also very sad seeing Freddie Mercury, which reminded me of my friend Craig, who also died around the same time from AIDS. It was like the title of that book by Simone Signoret "Nostalgia Isn't What It Use To Be"

I didn't mind the rain so much during the summer, it kept the temperatures down and saved having to water the garden. I'm starting to get fed up with it now though. I need to get some work done on my house and can't until things dry out. My garden is a total mess. I can't even imagine the pure hell it must be to live in an area with all the hurricanes. This week I got an email from a woman in Louisiana. She was replying to a message on a postcard I had sent her . I had written that I hoped the storms weren't causing too much problems for her and her family. Her reply was that Gustav, was a disaster for them and they have been without power for a week. Now this morning on the news I see hurricane Ike is causing havoc in Texas. I wonder if I ever had to evacuate where the heck would I go? If all the people living on the southwest shore of Lake Ontario were told to leave their homes, it would be chaos.

Feeling a little better today .Not sure what I'm going to get up to as the weather is looking like we will have more rain.

Drugs, Fall , and Elections

Here's a statue in the park next to city hall commemorating Ukrainian Immigrants. I didn't bother to take a picture of city hall, because it's so damn ugly.

I try to imagine what it would be like to pack up and leave my home for another country. Where would I go ? Now a days we get many immigrants from South Asia . Last week a couple of South Asian guys starting working at my office and I'm glad. We need to spice up that stale white bread place.
And it sure was stale today. The same old tired excuses . Won't bother to say why . I'll be so glad when I can go back to not really knowing my manager and not caring. It will just be some person I have to endure at the occasional meeting and make nice with at the Christmas lunch .

It's a cool 10C tonight. The weather all week has been fall like: cold mornings , warm afternoons, and cold nights. I don't mind except it's hard to know what to wear. It feels strange to ditch the cotton summer clothes , put on a jacket, and shoes with socks. I have to admit I was getting fed up with wearing sandals .My feet really take a beating by the end of the summer.

I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to up the Amantadine dose, taking another pill at lunch in addition to the morning one. I don't really want to, yet I'm noticing that the effect wears off by midday, so I could use an extra boost. I'm still not convinced it's the right thing to do but I feel I have no choice. I can't handle being the zombie woman anymore.

I'm disappointed that the election campaigns in Canada and the U.S. are becoming all about personality attacks . I'm so sick of hearing why the other guy is bad and I shouldn't vote for him. Why should I vote for you ?
I added Zach's blog to my hobbies list. He mentioned it on a postcard from Malaysia.
Check it out and help him decide if he should take the job with the airline.

Perfect MS Weather

A beautiful Monday with a cool breeze coming in off the lake. Perfect weather for someone with MS. There is a definite correlation between the weather and MS. Yesterday it was hot and humid ,
I was a wreck. Today it's mild and I feel pretty good. OK so maybe I'm stating the obvious, it's another point to make with my employer as to why I should telework. And speaking of work: This morning I was blown away by how attractive the manager is. Not at all as I imagined her. I wonder how she imagined me ? There I go, doing the Libra thing again.

This morning on the news there was a report about " Choconomics". When the economy is down, chocolate sales go up. I can so relate to that. Nothing like a cup of tea and a chocolate at the end of a bad day.

Time to get back to work. More Later

Rainy Days and Mondays

The rain today rather than cooling things down like it has all summer, turned outside into a horrid steam bath . I went out in the morning to do errands and the weather really knocked me down. I had one of my "spells" meaning sudden fatigue and fever, resulting in a total shut down of my brain . My legs went all funny . Fortunately, I made it back home in one piece and felt like kissing the air conditioner. What would I do without central air ?

I'm feeling pretty good now and all set for work on Monday . I wanted to start the fatigue medication this week end but didn't get the prescription in Friday's mail. Why did I tell the doctor to mail it instead of phone it in to the drugstore ? Guess it was my same old dread of taking pills. If it's here tomorrow I'm going straight to the pharmacy with it after work. I'm at the point now that I don't care if I turn into a junkie, I can't handle this fatigue.

Just as I thought, our sort of Prime Minister, is pushing for a snap election in the fall. I think he's concerned that a Democrat win in the U.S. , will have us all rushing to vote Liberal again.
I have my Green Party sign in the basement ready to put out in the front garden.

The manager who wrote a very rude letter to my doctor returns from holidays tomorrow .I've never met this person . I can't wait to have another pointless meeting to discuss how she can't do anything for me till the Health Canada assessment is done . This is manager number four in less than a year. I just love Mondays

Humidty and Bugs I've Never Seen Before

What kind of bugs are these?











You can see that the swan family is doing well. The ducks look happy too.





I've recovered from two days of being in a miserable funk .
Besides that, my wireless internet was acting up, possibly due to all the storms we've had. We had another whopper of a thunderstorm today. At least my basement is dry . There was an article in the local paper about flooding problems in homes because of the outdated sewer system. A wet, smelly, moldy, basement can be very depressing, and certainly unhealthy.

Even though the temperature outside is a pleasant 25C and there's a nice breeze, the humidity is a killer. I came back home from my walk tonight completely soaked in perspiration ( OK sweat).
Had to head straight to a cool shower to recover. Now I feel good, no pains and no fatigue.

Tomorrow is the last day of my time off. I've had family and friends convince me that I should stick it out at work and everything will be fine. They are very logical and sensible. I know it would be better for me to hang in there at least one more year . So why do I keep getting this sinking feeling inside ?

Steven Truscott

To all of you out there who want to get tough on youth crime, remember, one reason we have the Youth Criminal Justice Act, and no longer have the death penalty in Canada ; Steven Truscott
Do we really want to go back to those days?

That's the limit of my political commentary here. I use to do volunteer work with high risk youth and the answers to youth crime aren't so simple.

I was able to contact an intelligent life form at human resources today. I thought I'd take another crack at them and see if I could get some things sorted out. The guy I spoke to was able to answer a few of my questions, certainly more than anyone else has.

So much for the electronic age and a paperless society. Ha! The bureaucrats want forms filled
out, and lots of them. I have no clue what I'm doing anymore. I'm dealing with three separate government agencies . Oh the torture ! The only thing I'm certain of is I won't be reporting for work on July 28th, at least not full time . I wonder in a year from now where I'll be and what I'll be doing.
Things right now sure are different compared to last year.

The Weather Outside Was Frightful

Mother Nature , can you give us a break please ?

Thunderstorms today resulted in me missing the rose show, nearly ruined my barbecue, and knocked out the cable. Then it took me 2 hours to get the internet security working again!! Grrr.

Ahh but then all is forgiven. The trail is even greener today thanks to that rain.
In the picture on the left is a pond. It use to be a sewer. The botanical gardens have a reclamation project going to get the area back to nature. They removed a storm sewer and a concrete barrier, which has allowed the creek to come back. They have also established 2 ponds with native plants and amphibians ! It's really going to be nice when it's all done.

Hope I don't have another crazy night. I woke up last night screaming from a nightmare, my heart pounding and I was sweating. I was even afraid to fall back asleep. Can't remember what it was about now. Don't think it's MS related. Is it ?

Plants, Smarter Than We Think

Another day of thunderstorms and heat.I 'm stuffed up with allergies. Haven't had that happen in ages. Darn pollen and high winds ! Yet I can't get mad at plants because, they might know what I'm thinking and feeling.

According to scientists at McMaster University, right here in Hamilton , plants
recognize their kin and are even nice to them. Read about it here

This is a response that besides plants, only humans have.

I forgot to mention I had a minor black out on Sunday. I put my head back to taste some rain drops and blacked out, my legs gave out . Luckily I was leaning against a railing and it was very brief so I didn't fall down. Only mentioning it because I have to see the neurologist next Monday.

I have removed a couple of MS blogs from my links . When I tried to access them the last couple of days, I got a message that I wasn't invited to read them, even though I have before. Didn't know blogging was like the country club.

Now I think I'll go water my plants and have a little chat with them. I wonder if they talk about me ?

Mental Illness in the Movies

First let's start with a dramatic change in the weather. It went from being cold and grey all week to suddenly, after a huge thunderstorm last night, up to 40C . A real steam bath.


Interesting article in the Las Cruces Sun about mental illness and movie myths. How movies, including "The Fisher King" and" As Good as it Gets" perpetrate misconceptions about mental illness .
Read it here

The two movies that I dislike that do this are "Good Will Hunting" and "The Prince of Tides". The idea that all you have to do is bare your soul to a shrink and everything will turn out peachy.
If only it were that simple. These movies do a great disservice to people who struggle with mental illness.
The article was very timely considering what happened to me this week.

On Thursday I had lunch with some friends . One friend telling me how her neighbour, who is schizophrenic, has been stalking her and her daughter. She has requested that a restraining order be issued against him. When I said that although I agreed it was a good idea, I didn't think it would stop the guy . My other friend got annoyed with me when I explained that schizophrenics can't control themselves . She said "Oh a schizophrenic can understand what a restraining order is", I said yes, maybe, but that won't stop the compulsive behaviour. She insisted that this guy could control himself if he really wanted to. I let it drop because I just couldn't be bothered to get into an arguement . It bugged me though that here was an intelligent woman who believed the myths. That mental illness is the fault of the person .

I told my other friend to please be careful.

The weather has me worried because it's supposed to stay hot like this for the rest of June. I'll have to plan any trips out for late afternoon, early evening, to avoid the heat.

Keeping my fingers crossed that I will have a good summer with no flare ups.

Trying to Stay Cool

Typical weather around here, from freezing to suffocating. At least I am anyway.

I suppose I shouldn't worry about it. I'm beginning to feel the positive effects of my time off even though they have messed up my pay cheque, and are taking far more money off for the leave than they should. Not in the mood to wrangle with human resources right now. Must stay calm and serene. Besides , the more they take, the sooner it will be paid off. Repeat: must stay calm and serene.

Saw an interview today on BBC with the lady who posed for this painting
She's actually very attractive. Maybe she was having a PMS day when she posed. That's what the painting makes me think of.

Hey! it's not my fault I bought all this candy today. In fact, the caramel Mars bars are calling me.
Time to make a pot of tea and : stay calm and serene.