It‘s Worse Every Year

I completed my Christmas shopping at the beginning of the month. I set a budget on how much I was going to spend and I stuck to it. I had a little left over, so I decided to buy some small items to go into Christmas stockings for my grandchildren and my little friends in the neighborhood. Of all days, no store I went into had enough cashiers; the lines were so long it was unbearable. One store literally had one cashier, what a joke. I left the store after spending the time to find the items I wanted.

I left the house feeling like Santa Claus...I came home the Grinch.

Time To Apply For NMSS 2008 Scholarship

I almost forgot, but it is not too late. Let you children and friends who are living with MS or who have a parent with MS know it is time to fill out the National Multiple Sclerosis Scholarship.
Download the following application and submit it by January 18, 2008. If you have any question click on this link for facts, questions, and answers.

The following is who is eligible to apply for an NMSS scholarship.


1. High school seniors who have a parent with MS who will be attending an accredited post secondary school for the first time.

2. High school seniors who have MS and will be attending an accredited post secondary school for the first time.

3. High School (or GED) graduates of any age who have MS and who will be attending an accredited post secondary school for the first time.

4. High School (or GED) graduates of any age who have a parent with MS and who will be attending an accredited post secondary school for the first time.

5. Applicants must be either a United States citizen or legal resident who plans to enroll in an undergraduate course of study at an accredited two-or four-year College, university, or vocational-technical school located in the United States. Applicants must be enrolled in at least six credit hours per semester in course work leading to a degree, license, or certificate.

What Is This World Coming To

With the high price of gas, we are all looking for the bargain price. At Kroger, customers get 10 cents off a gallon for purchases over $100.00. Of course, if you can save 10 cents on a gallon it is a no brainer to go to Kroger and gas up your vehicle.

Out of all the people in line, a man decided to start a confrontation with my husband. My husband was the only black man at the gas station at the time and he was doing nothing different from any of the other customers. He was patiently waiting his turn for the pump. I pointed race out because I believe the man who started this confrontation was a bigot.
My husband pulled to the pump and gas up, out of know were the man started a verbal confrontation with him. My husband did not provoke the confrontation to another level, but he sternly advised the man he was there for the same reason everyone else was there and to leave him the f**k alone and to go about his business because he was through talking. I know my husband when he said he was through talking he was through talking, being retired military he went into his military training mode in the event this man approach him in a threatening manner.

My husband notice the man go into his trunk and retrieve a tire iron, but he was through with his business and he headed home. While he was driving home, he called me to call the police to meet him at the house because the man starts following him. I dialed the police to inform them of the situation and I stated if the man pulls onto my property, I would not be responsible for what may happen; I retrieved my husband’s 45.

Knowing how crazy this world is and after getting that type of call from my husband, I armed myself to protect my husband and myself in case the police did not arrive in time. Fortunately, the police arrived a couple of minutes after my husband pulled into the driveway and the man who wanted a confrontation kept going. I was thankful I was not put in a position to do bodily harm to another human being. The police confirmed the man was a known troublemaker when they recognized the description of the man and his car given to them by my husband. The officers recorded it as an incident report in case my husband ever run into this person again. This way if my husband path crosses this bigot again and my husband hurt this man protecting himself the law was aware of a previous incident.


This incident comes on the hills of a good friend of ours who was in an altercation at a service station in different municipality just a couple of weeks ago. What in the he** is this world coming to? In all my years of living this is the worse I have seen our country. People can’t go to school, to the shopping malls, and now gas service station without some crazy sh*t happening.

Marvin Gaye song about crazy sh*t 36 years ago and this country is going backwards instead of forward.


What's Going On!
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INSOMNIA

I have not grieved as I am now since the death of my maternal grandfather 25 years ago. I am carry on with my daily activities, but I feel as if I am just going thru the motions. Since Mary’s death, I have not been sleeping well. I finally took an Ambien 10mg Tuesday and Wednesday night to no avail. My doctor called the pharmacy and prescribed me Klonopin to take with my Ambien.

I was hoping I did not have to take a Klonopin, but as I began to type my thoughts, I decided I should. However, I thought it was best for me not to take another Ambien along with it, since I been taken Ambien from prior days. I hope the Klonopin is effective tonight, because the pain I feel from multiple sclerosis is breaking through with a vengence while I am wearing a Duragesic Patch. I do not think it would be wise to take a Lortab for this break through pain tonight since I have taken a Klonopin. I lived with multiple sclerosis long enough to know I am on the verge of an exacerbation. The last thing I want now is to have a Solu-Medrol Infusion because of an exacerbation.

It was months before I was able to move on grieving my grandfather 25 years ago. For the sake of my health, I have to find peace with Mary’s death. I thought I found peace when I felt her presence during my daughter’s wedding. Today, I had to stop myself from picking up the phone to call her. When that happened I was mentally back, to the morning she died and that unbearable sadness engulfed me all over again.

Inspirational music is a comfort for me and tonight I choose this to give me peace to get through the night. I look forward to waking up tomorrow with a renewed strength.
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Wedding Pictures

Bride Getting Ready To Walk Down The Aisle

Isn't She Lovely

An Angel Received Her Wings

The following is the last email I will ever receive from Mary:

Subject: Friday
Date: 11/21/2007 8:01:32 P.M. Central Standard Time
From: maf921@sbcglobal.net
Reply To:
To: EDEETT@aol.com

Hey Debra,
See you Friday afternoon. I can't find my bridal shower invitation is it
Friday or Saturday? HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am in a better place after the death of my good friend Mary. She was on her way to Tennessee to attend my daughter’s wedding. Unfortunately, for those of us who loved her God was ready for her to come home. I was with her husband when we arrived at Crittenden Memorial Hospital and saw that she was dead when we looked into her hospital room.

Mary would have never made the trip to Tennessee if she thought the cold she was suffering with was more than a cold. Mary suffered and lived with pulmonary sacroidosis that developed into pulmonary fibrosis (the abnormal formation of fiber-like scar tissue in the lung). This actually distorts the structure of the lungs and can interfere with breathing, especially the ability to exchange oxygen in the lungs.

The attending physician at Crittenden Memorial Hospital said her body received too much oxygen. A normal oxygen level should be around 35 and her level was over 120. He said, in cases like hers when mucus build up the patients turn up the oxygen level on their tank thinking it would help their breathing when they are having difficulties breathing. It is the wrong thing to do because too much oxygen shuts down the body.

I have said it before and I will say it again, when you live with a chronic illness, it is not the illness that will eventually kill you; it will be the medication we take to control our illness that will kill us. Oxygen is what killed Mary just as methotrexate almost killed me last year.

Regardless of knowing, I live with an illness with no cure and Mary lived with an illness with no cure. I refuse to live my life as if it is over. Mary was the same way, she lived life to the fullest and I take comfort in knowing when she died she was happy. At first, I felt guilty because she was on her way to visit with my family, and me but she loved to travel and she loved attending weddings.

Matter of fact, it was at the wedding when the heaviness of my heart lifted. I felt Mary’s presence in the church and at the reception as I was living the Botanical Gardens I felt her stamp of approval that the wedding was a beautiful and loving occasion.

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