Opened My Doors To Help...They Ended Up Helping Me

Shelly enjoyed all the extra LOVE and they wanted to take her back, but she was not having that...she immediately jumped out the trailer after the picture was taken.

My household went from two adults and a dog to a household of ten people and a dog (Shelly). My brother and sister in law with their 22-year-old adult son and three teenagers ages 17, 16, and 15, an adult niece and her ten-year-old son rounded out the evacuees living in my house for what I thought would be three to five days, but turned out to be eleven days.

Many of my friends and other family members thought I would be pulling my hair out having so many people in my house. I have to admit I wondered if I could handle it after they all arrived. Truth is I enjoyed every one of the eleven days my evacuees were here. Having them here and making sure they were comfortable did more for me than they know.

What my family, friends, associates, and blogging community did not know was for over a year, I have been silently suffering from anxiety and panic attacks every morning when I wake up to an empty house. I fight the attacks all day off and on and do not completely relax until my husband arrive home from work. Everyday I was tempted to call my husband, daughter, friend, or anyone when I was battling the anxiety and panic building in my body. The attacks started after the third time I had a serious medical problem and I was home alone with Shelly.

I allowed fear to engulf me when I am alone at home or driving it altered how I go about my day. I once tried taking medication and I prayed often-begging God to take away that dreadful feeling. The attacks are not as severe from when they first started, but they are scary nonetheless. After receiving the phone call from my family asking to come here to escape Hurricane Ike, I immediately dismissed my fear of having the attacks. I prayed asking God to help me keep it in control because the last thing my family needed was to worry about me, when they could possibly lose everything when Ike hit their city.

I am happy to say the entire time my evacuees (which is what I fondly call them) were here, they never seen me have an anxiety or panic attack. To ease the anxiety they were feeling wondering about the damage Hurricane Ike was doing. I made it a point to have their stay with me and mine feel like a vacation.




They had the opportunity to see what could be the last time Goat Day’s would be an event in my city.




They had the opportunity to enjoy the last Mid South Fair held in Memphis.

They went to the movies, park, and mall.

They went to Tunica

They went to Beale Street


As they were packing up to leave, it felt good knowing I accomplished what I set out to do when they said, "We felt like we were on vaction instead of evacuees. The people we been talking to who are stuck in hotels, shelters or stayed at home are jealous. Our house is the bed and breakfast, ES house is the home away from home, your house is the evacuee house."

I replied, "No, my house was your home away from home, but I will accept the title house for the evacuees. Adding, if I were you all I would not talk too much about the good time here because other family member will try to beat you here if there is another evacuation, but you all have first call since we survived eleven days together under one roof. It has been years since I had teenager in the house and I enjoyed every minute of it. Had your children been bad @ss kids…I would have shown you all the door on day one."

When they pulled off and I returned to the house I had a beautiful gift, card, and a check thanking me for the hospitality.

What they do not realize is by coming here to escape Ike they helped me..my anxiety and panic attacks are few and far between since they left and for that reason, I am grateful that Hurricane Ike sent them here to seek refuge. Their homes did not suffer major damage and they are back to their daily routine.

Regardless, at the end of the day…there is no place like home and having your house back :)

I Am BACK :)

First, let me say I am okay, problems with multiple sclerosis is not what kept me away for a month. I thank those of you who commented on my last post and all of you who emailed checking on me. I just finished mid-terms yesterday and now I can get back to blogging. My life has been a whirlwind since Hurricane Ike and I am just now getting a break...stay tune I will catch you all up by the end of the weekend.

I will be stopping by soon to visit...

Italian Kitchen Secrets and Free Turkey

Here's a link to Italian Kitchen Secrets , a blog by a member of the postcard club, which I have added to my Hobbies blog list as well. The stuffed mushrooms look really yummy !

This evening even though I was exhausted, I went shopping at the local supermarket. I wanted to use up the free grocery points I had accumulated, which I mentioned in a previous post. It was just enough to pay for all the fixings for Thanks Giving dinner this weekend. I had forgotten what an awful tiring business grocery shopping is, as I've been doing it online for years. My son came with me to help carry everything. Both of us couldn't wait to get out of the place. So many annoying people who block the aisles , stand staring at the items on the shelves, or reading the labels on tins (yeah man they're peas, are you buying them or what ?). Then you get the love birds who hold hands while they shop, smiling at each other and kissing. I can't think of anything less romantic than grocery shopping.

Now I have a turkey to cook and pumpkin pies to make. I have a couple of days to rest up before I take that on. I might even be able to get out and take a few snaps of the fall colours as it's going to be a lovely mild weekend. Today walking home from work I didn't even need a jacket and I was able to leave the screen door open when I got home. . Just hope the guy who's suppose to come over to fix the dishwasher tomorrow shows up. I had to wash dishes by hand tonight, another thing I haven't done for years.

That's what I will be Thankful for this weekend. Labour saving devices.

It Could Be Something Else

Read here about another autoimmune illness which is often misdiagnosed as MS. The common thread in all of these illnesses seems to be fatigue and depression.

I was home again today. It's getting ridiculous how much time I take off work. Can't help it, I feel like a rag doll, even too tired to play Spore ! My foot is messed up again. When I got up this morning I couldn't even stand on it it was so swollen and sore. It's better now. Have to try and limit my walking for the next couple of days, which is hard to do. On work days (when I'm there) I like going out for a walk on my breaks and lunch. It clears my head.

Time to watch World Focus, a new program on PBS . I like that they have a variety of sources for their news stories ranging from mainstream media, to Al Arabiya and The Christian Science Monitor

I find I have a better world perspective when I get news from a variety of sources. Every media has their bias and I guess I have mine, but I do try to look at different points of view.

Google Goggles could save you from making a fool of yourself. Whenever I write an angry email I save it and look at it again a few hours later. Usually I end up not sending it. Sometimes it just feels good to write it down.

Spore

Ahhh ! Totally addicted to Spore can't control myself. I did at least go for a walk to test out my foot. I'm still limping a bit, but it's much improved. Now it's time to finish my chores and get ready for work tomorrow. Not much to say about my Health Canada appointment, accept that I think I still have a long battle ahead of me. I'd love to say more only the last thing I need is to get hassled for violating confidentiality, even though it seems to be OK for everybody to violate mine

Don't worry I haven't given up .

Debbie Purdy

This morning I saw a news report on BBC about Debbie Purdy, a woman with progressive MS who has plans to eventually go to Switzerland for assisted suicide. She has asked the courts to rule on whether or not her husband will be prosecuted in England if he helps her. Although no one in Britain who has helped a person with suicide has been prosecuted, her husband could face 14 years in jail.

One thing that she said really struck a chord with me That she wasn't afraid of death, she was a afraid of the pain and the indignity of death. I'm not anywhere near Ms Purdy stage of MS, not even close, yet I know what indignity is. I think many of us who are caught in the health care system do, regardless of where we live or what kind of health care system we have.

How many times I've been hospitalized during my life and had to face indignities .To be tied in a bed in the hospital, have laxatives shoved down my throat, drugs pumped into my body not knowing what, too sick to care. To have my mother go and ask repeatedly for some towels for my hospital room . To have a nurse apologize to me after I gave birth to my son for being rude. Not just rude, down right hostile, because she didn't think I was " so far along" because I was"so so calm" and she thought I would be" around for hours", as if that should make a difference in treating a person with respect. To have a nurse slap me in the face and tell me to shut up. To be sick and left to clean up my own mess etc etc.

Now with MS I'm having to experience being either treated like: a child, a leper, a good cause, a fake. Having others make decisions about my life. Having to put up with all kinds of crap and I'm not even that sick. So I can just imagine what's going through Debbie Purdy's mind and why she wants death with dignity. Read about her here

I'll talk about my Health Canada experience tomorrow. I fell today and really hurt my foot so I'm not in the mood to write anymore.

Blogs Wine Pot and Pepper Mint

A cold, gloomy, rainy, day, didn't do much to lift my mood. I'm a bit down in the dumps and very, very, tired.


Ran across a few more MS blogs this evening:
Here's a new one: Life with MS No Balance by a former nurse and resident of Illinois.

Another blog by another nurse, Robin at Surviving Multiple Sclerosis
Then there's Laura at One Day at a Time and this guy who been blogging since 2004 at The Crazilynsane Multiple Sclerosis Blog

This blog India Songs on Demand has links to many MS videos.

Too many blogs to read, it's addictive !

Also read some articles about red wine, pot, and pepper mint oil massages, being beneficial to treat MS. They might be worth a try for some people. Myself, I'm already enough of a space cadet I don't need pot and I can't drink much these days so I guess the wine is out. The peppermint massage does sound appealing though.

AIDS maybe 100 years old

Tomorrow is my Health Canada assessment in Toronto. Have to catch the morning GO bus and then depending on how I feel and how much time I have, I might walk up Bay St. to the doctor.Need some time to clear my mind and walking always helps. I'm looking forward to the appointment and dreading it at the same time. I'm sick of repeating my sorry tale. Let's hope some good comes of it.