Silver

In case you are wondering The banner ad is for my kid. OK ? He wants to get rich.

Against Medical Advice

There is no doubt in my mind had I not had insurance the hospital would have booted me out when all indications were that I was stabilized from the reaction I had with Copaxone and tests showed that I did not have a heart attack. The only reason they wanted me to stay for further heart tests was because of my family history of heart disease.

When are doctors going to realize a person who lives with a chronic illness know their bodies better than anyone does? Most importantly, chronically
ill people know when they need medical help and are intelligent enough to seek
it when needed. If you are like me, the less I have to seek medical
attention, the better off I am.

Give me a break, do you honestly think I care I had to sign a piece a paper that I was leaving against medical advice because I did not want to stay for a freakin stress test the next morning. The way I saw it the hospital just wanted to get more money from my insurance for an overnight stay...I HATE STAYING IN A HOSPITAL. Did they really think I want to be poked and bothered every four hours when my vital signs were stabled, just to have a stress test the next morning? Hospitals recommending and insisting on unneccesary hospital stays is one of the problems with our health care system.

I experienced my third Immediate Post Injection Reaction after my Copaxone injection. Seconds after pulling the needle out of my thigh and grabbing the cotton ball to stop the blood that oozed from the injection site. A volcano erupted inside my body. It felt as if the medication exploded. I literally felt a burning rush travel up the top half of my body and slowly flow back down to the soles of my feet. My eyeballs rolled backed as my chest tighten with every rapid heartbeat. I was scared out of my mind, I could not breathe, thank God, my husband felt something was wrong and came upstairs to check on me.

As he dialed 911, I prayed for calmness and not to fear what was happening. I knew in my mind it was an IPIR experience and I held on to the belief no one ever died from one. The grip on my chest eased to the point I could breathe a little better. I thought my experience was about to be over until the severe itching and whelps start popping up over my body and a strange taste entered my mouth.

I start cursing living with MS and the medication that caused the hell I was living now. I could not understand why this was happening to me again. I thought IPIR’s were so rare that the odds of me having one again were slim to none. Well, the joke is on me. I was told that when I experienced my first one in 2007, yet I had another one months later in 2008.

On the transport to the emergency room, my tongue felt as if it was swelling and the itching made me want to peel my skin off. The EMT feverously injected an IV in my veins and shot me up with Benadryl. By the time I made it to the ER, I was drowsy and in a better state of mind. Hours later after an infusion of Solu Medrol, my body felt like its regular multiple sclerosis living self. The ER doctor asked how I felt and I told her the truth, she informed me that my test came back good and my vitals were stabled and I could go home after she consult with the ER doctor in charge.

I could have been knocked over by a feather when she came back in and said, "We want to keep you for further tests." "Why!", I asked. She said, "There are other test that they wanted me to take in the morning to check my heart." There was no need for me to stay to take further heart tests the next day, so I refused to stay. I explained to them, "I have a cardiologist and I have been given all required test because of my family history last year in May. You asked how I feel and I told you I feel much better than when I arrived, my vitals are stabled, and the heart enzyme blood work came back indicating all is well, therefore, there is no need for me to stay overnight for further heart testing in the morning."

I kid you not they were trying to put the fear of God in me. They went on and on about the chest pain I had with the IPIR and it was in my best interest to let them perform further testing because of family history. I was getting annoyed with their persistence about staying in the hospital. Why it is medical personnel do not really listen to patients who are in tune with their health situation and body is beyond me. Did they not hear me! When I said, “I recently had the tests they wanted to perform done by my own cardiologist and I will call him first thing Monday morning to follow up on why the wanted me to stay in the hospital.” The last place I wanted to be was in a hospital and my birthday was coming up Sunday, when I knew all was right with me again.

This may sound strange, but I was elated and confused knowing I was not going to die after having an IPIR. I was and still am confused on what to do about a disease-modifying drug to slow down the progression of my multiple sclerosis. Should I continue taking Copaxone? I know Copaxone is working for me because I have not had any new brain lesions and my exacerbations have been less lately during the years I have been taking Copaxone. Unfortunately, the IPIR reactions are worse each time I have one. I am obviously, in that rare percentile that experiences IPIR while taking Copaxone. It is a terrible experience and I do not like going through it, but who is to say I will not have worst experiences on my other three choices of a DMD. I thought about not taking anything at all, but after talking with my Dad. I promised him I would continue taking a DMD for my disease For now, I am going to take some time off from taking my daily injection until I make a decision on what I am going to do.

Anywho, all is well for now and I enjoyed my birthday with my family at home :) I will make a decision soon, but I am leaning towards staying on Copaxone because at least I know what it will do to me unlike the other DMD's.

Too Sick To Care

Had a great holiday Today I'm too sick to care about anything Sorry

Angel of Death Hit Hard This Week

Wow, my heart was saddened to hear about the death of my cousin Lorraine “Cookie” Union Monday June 22, 2009. Followed by the death of Ed McMahon from the Johnny Carson Show Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Now today June 25, 2009 the death of two icons in the entertainment industry...Farrah Fawcett of Charlie’s Angel and Michael Jackson formerly of the Jackson 5.


May you all Rest In Peace.



Below is a picture I took of Michael Jackson when I spent a summer in California. My Uncle bought some of the best tickets in the arena for me and my cousins to see the Jackson 5 in Sun Valley…of course I was the teenager in 1975 with the best summer story after being that close to the Jackson 5. That is Michael behind Marlon :)

The Angels Took Her Home

I hate those early morning calls. It is never good news; I think I am still in shock. I did not believe my sister when she said, “Cookie is dead.” My heart felt like it broke into a million pieces. No, it cannot be, not my Cookie, I just talked to her Saturday. I have so much to say about my first cousin Cookie, but it hurts too much.

Her last words to me was Saturday, June 20, “Hey Deb, I love you” my last words to her was “I love my Cookie.” Those words are what is giving me some strength this moment. We do not have a guarantee that we will here or see a love one again. Therefore, end your conversations with “I LOVE YOU”.. Cookie died from a massive heart attack June 21.

My Life Reflections (In Cookie's Own Words)...click on image to read it

RIP...Lorane “Cookie” Union
I will miss you, but I will always remember the FUN TIMES.

My DAD...It's Your Day

I am the woman I am today because of my Dad. He is the one who instilled in me the importance of LOVE. It is strange how he gave me good advice on LOVE :-(, but did not take his on advice when it came to my mother.

My world was devastated at the age of 16. My mother filed for divorced and he could never come back to the house I call home. Yes, I acted out, but because he stayed in my life outside of the home, we once shared. I continued to have a Father’s Love to this day.

Any man can be called a Dad, but it takes a REAL MAN to be called a FATHER…




For example, I married a REAL MAN.

He gave and gives a father's love to my daughters when their DAD could no longer have their mother after a divorce.

He never took away his love from his own daughter after his divorce.

He went for custody of his daughter when her home life was not the right environment.

He is greatly responsible for three beautiful little girls, who matured into three beautiful, intelligent, strong, loving, compassionate young women.

Most of all, he is a man that knows how to treat and love the woman who shares his love.

Today is not only Father's Day...today we celebrate nineteen years together.



Happy Father's Day and Anniversary MY LOVE!

Held Captive Only If You Allow It

Summer is a beautiful time of the year. Lots of activities and events are planned for outdoors. Unfortunately, when you live with multiple sclerosis the heat during the summer can hold you captive if you allow it.

I was looking forward to attend an annual political picnic Saturday. I knew it was going to be hot, but I was not going to let that keep me from trying to make the event this year. The heat was extreme, I could not last any more than getting out my car and making it to the grounds. Oh, well that is life living with MS. I felt good trying it instead of staying captive in the house because of the temperature outside. There is always next year.

It can get depressing when you try to attend an outside function and the heat is too much for you to enjoy it. Instead of getting depress always have a back up plan or two if you have to leave an outside event because of the heat. Enjoy every day of the summer month regardless of the heat. Plan accordingly by monitoring the weather report.

The weather report for next week here is 97 degrees across the board, with the heat index well over 100. I already planned accordingly :)


I AM NOT GOING TO LET THE HEAT OF THE SUMMER HOLD ME CAPTIVE IN MY HOUSE…HAVE A WONDERFUL SUMMER…I PLAN TO!

Glad it's over

Horrible, pissy, work week with me breaking down in tears on Wednesday( my in office day). Not a big dramatic cry, just an endless stream of tears. A person saying "trust me " " don't worry" " I've been through bad times here too", had me laughing and crying at the same time.

I work with mindless, insensitive, trolls ! Feeling better today but having a serious bout of the worries. I've decided to take a few days off. So if I'm not blogging it's because I'm out and about.

Blame It - Jamie Foxx- BARACK OBAMA SPOOF

With all that is wrong in this country, I will have PATIENCE for President Obama to evoke CHANGE. He is only one man it is the men and women on Capitol Hill who we the American people should hold responsible if change is slow in coming or does not come at all...Remember The Republican Party talking piece want him to fail. Hmmm, there is something wrong with the Americans who hang on every word of an addict that speaks for the Republican Party?

President Barack Obama did not create this mess in America, but they the Republican Party want people to believe its President Obama’s fault. Let us not forget it was them, the Republican Party in charged for the last eight years and rubber stamped the Bush Administration. I also blame men and women of the Democrat Party for not putting up a fight to the bullying of the Republican Party.

To sum up opinion BOTH PARTIES are the blame for the mess the United States is experiencing. Capital Hill has been bought and paid for by the super rich and big businesses. I personally am ready for new, young, intelligent, uncorrupt faces with new ideas on Capital Hill who is not afraid to take on the thieves that robbed America blind.


click here...I endorse Blame IT-Jamie Foxx-Barack Obama Spoof

Americans Are What Is Wrong With America…

When is it going to stop…?

My healthcare coverage was the best to have, but over the years, benefits are slowly disappearing, while my premium is slowly rising. Out of pocket expenses were something I did not dread, but I dread going to get a prescription. Co-pays are steadily increasing. So far, I am still one of the fortunate ones to afford my drugs to fight MS… What about the ones who cannot afford to take the expensive Avones, Beastron, Copaxone, Rebif, and Tysabri to slow the progression of multiple sclerosis.

DMD’s cost more than what many Americans make a year, mine in particular cost $1700.00 a month. I will not be surprise if day come when my health insurance carrier find a way for me to pick up most of that cost. If that day comes, I will be like many other Americans deciding between purchasing my prescriptions over purchasing food to live.

I am pissed off; I am sick and tired of our legislators the Democrats and Republicans bullshitting when it comes to my life. The Dems and the Repubs want American people to believe they are working hard in our best interest to fix the healthcare crisis.

I do not give two rats asses which party comes up with a solution for the healthcare crisis here in America. The writing on the wall started when HMO’s came to America in the early 80’s. Healthcare has been changing and rising at the disadvantage to the American people since the HMO white horse rode into a town near you.

To fix the healthcare crisis here in America, it is time for Americans to demand the same coverage Congress receives. I plan to write my representatives demanding the opportunity to have the coverage they receive. It is time for all Americans to DEMAND IT!

I remember then candidate for President Obama saying during his campaign, "Americans deserve the same coverage offered to Congress." Therefore, if Congress is having a problem putting together legislation to offer us the same coverage they have because of the Democrat and Republican bipartisanship bullshit. The American people need to remind them whom they work for during their election year, and VOTE their asses out of office, and put some fresh blood in...which is what Americans should do to kick start fixing what is wrong in America!

Remember they are in Washington to be working for us and not for the Insurance and Pharmecutical industry poiitical donations and perks.

Health Care for U.S. Congress

Feeling Normal ??!!

The strangest thing happened today. Out of nowhere, I suddenly felt normal. By that I mean like my old self before I started getting sick and feeling like garbage all the time. Today, this evening I do not feel like garbage I feel like I have found some long lost soul. That it has reentered my body and I am whole again. I wonder how long that will last. How the heck did that happen ?
It feels wonderful, yet odd at the same time.

I don't understand. Why? Why now? It's not like I've been doing anything differently No new regime, no drugs, no new diet, nothing !!

I have to say a distant Happy Birthday to my ex Mother in Law. I never got along with the woman however, I have to say I admire her strength . I have never know anyone with such a tremendous will to live . She has numerous health problems, has had so many surgeries and been at death's door more than once. Some how she always rallies. So keep going there lady ! May you have many more birthdays.

I have decided to drag some of my postcard collection into the office for an Art/Hobby show this week. Mainly because I think it's an activity somebody else might enjoy who like me, can't always be relied on to participate in something. You can do it when you please, no pressure .
I would say the best part about it is getting to know people in different countries.
So often when we travel we don't really get to know the "natives" and too often when we do, it is in a service role . Not a good thing.

We'll have to see what the reaction is. People are always surprised when I tell them about it I guess some hobbies are seen as nerdy and I'm not really nerdy looking, nor do I act like a nerd. At least I don't think so .

My blog posts are so disjointed I would like to stick to one subject per post but my head is jumping around thinking of so many things at once.

I'm looking forward to my morning commute. Down the stairs and into my home office, with a cup of tea and Mozart playing in the background. Life is good.

Strange and Wonderul Things.

Here's a photo my friend sent me of a big scary spider. He was out in the desert looking for snakes and snapped this Tarantula. He looks for snakes that stray out on to the highway and removes them. I never knew that a snake will assume a striking pose when a car drives by and instead of scurrying away, ends up getting hit.

The lower photo is one I took last night as the sun was going down over the new sign at the Art Gallery of Hamilton. The old sign, which arched out over the street, fell off during a big storm a couple of years ago. It must have had a serious design flaw as it sheared off the wall in a perfectly smooth slice . Thank goodness nobody was around when it happened . The sign was so big and heavy, they had to leave it lying at the curb for a few days to wait for a crane to come remove it.

The only problem with this new sign, is when you walk down the street on the opposite side, it spells out HDA

Anyway, I went to the Art Crawl on James Street and was on my way home when I took that picture . The Art Crawl is a chance to see all the local artists and their work, sample some nibbles, hard and soft drinks, and wander around. There are also street musicians and other entertainment. James Street is one of those down and out derelict places that attracts starving artists. The city wants to open an art centre there. I just hope it doesn't go the way of other gentrified places and become too cool ( read expensive).


It was nice to be able to go out on a Friday evening, instead of my usual ,flopping on the couch from exhaustion after a day in the office. Guess the tele -work is having a positive effect.
Hmmmm ? (employers take note)

I don't get people who check out blogs, but keep their blog private. What are you trying to hide ?
Come on and join us, the water is fine.

What Is Worse Than A Winter Cold?

ANSWER

A Summer Cold!


It has been years since I had a cold, I guess it is a cold. It could be allergies or sinusitis. Any who, whichever it is, its time to take it to the doctor. Over the counter meds are not doing squat.

I can’t breath out of one of nostrils, the other nostril is working at 75%, my throat is itching, my ears are ringing, coughing, one minute I am cold, the next I am hot, but most of all...

I CANNOT SLEEP. When I lay down, I have to get back up because what will not come out my nose is choking me.

Hubby think I should go see my doctor ASAP…of Dr. BlindersOff think she can wait until her physical appointment Tuesday.

My Condolences

Words are not enough to comfort a mother when a child dies.

This MS candle burns for you Sherry. My prayers and thoughts are with you. May you find the strength to carry on.

MS Support ?!

So if you have MS the only answer is drugs ? I'm so sick of websites and blogs were that seems to be the only recommended solution . Stop pushing drugs .
Before you recommend a drug I think you should have proof, real proof, that it works. You should also be more up front about the side effects.
I'm not convinced that many of the drugs work and I'm sick of non professionals and Heck! even the professionals, hawking the latest treatment miracle MS drug. From what I read and what I see, we all end up at the same dead end street . We can slow that mother down, but MS bites us in the ass anyway. On top of that do we really need bummed out livers and diabetes from years of taking treatments ?

Yeah I'm in a foul mood . What people with MS really need is support. They need good care and they need proper living alternatives. They need to feel that they have options besides pills and needles !!!! They need respect and to be able to live with dignity !

I'm moving on with the next phase of my medical accommodation Things are going fine at work with the at home arrangement. Now my battle is to acquire medical information that has been withheld from me and yet has been used against me. May have to seek legal counsel . I'm not getting any answers to my questions . It is so frustrating and maddening to find out that this crazy process I've had to endure for almost two years, was completely unnecessary . I'm disgusted that so called professionals can be so incompetent . How they simply don't care that they have messed up the life of an individual that is not feeling good (actually pretty crappy).
I am sick to death of all these amateur psychiatrists and wanna be counselors. Maybe the need is to help yourself dummies, and leave me alone, because my head is just fine . Yeah I'm crazy but at least I know it and I don't go around trying to "fix" other people because my life is so empty and I'm so needy.

My vengeful side wants to curse them with every plague and have them need help, only to be spurned. My more rational side wants to try do something, so that some other poor sucker doesn't have to go through what I have been through.

Vitamin D Deficiency

I finally had my Vitamin D level checked and to my surprise, I am severely deficient in Vitamin D. The reference range for Vitamin D in the body is 32 – 100. Hell, my range was a 9, I was damn near depleted of Vitamin D.

A cousin of mine who is in the health nutrition industry brought the importance of Vitamin D in our system and the importance of African Americans to have their level check to my attention about a year ago. The reason being African Americans do not absorb the sun natural resource of vitamin D. She also mentioned, a lot of the pain I experience could not only be from multiple sclerosis, but also from the lack of Vitamin D.

My MS rollercoaster has been taking me for a ride. It was time to find out if there was something to this Vitamin D after reading about it. I did not have nothing to lose if I had to take another pill and if taking pills for Vitamin would help my cause living life with MS. I was all for it.

When my results came in, my doctor immediately but me on 50,000 ui of vitamin D a week, I thought I was going to have to take a handful of pills to get that much vitamin D a week. Fortunately, our good ole pharmaceutical companies make a 50,000 capsule and I take one a week.

It has been four weeks now and I have to admit I feel a lot better. I am experiencing moderate instead of severe pain now. That severe anxiety I experienced that damn near drove me insane has disappeared. Cymbalta helps, but I notice a tremendous difference since I have been taking vitamin D.

Although it is wise for African Americans to get their Vitamin D checked, I would suggest everyone who have health problems to have their Vitamin D checked. The medical community is doing more research about the harm of having a vitamin D deficiency. Instead of trying to blog about the different ways a lack of vitamin D can effect your life…check it out in your spare time on the provided links below.

Vitamin D Deficiency

Vitamin D Deficiency Symptoms

Vitamin D and Mental Illness

Why Vitamin D May Be A Hidden Epidemic

Vitamin D May Prevent Multiple Sclerosis

The Latest Addiction

Here's a couple of shots of Dundurn Castle, were I went walking yesterday afternoon and a view of the other side of the harbour.

Came home exhausted from that walk . I thought I would lie on the couch for a little while and rest. Ended up spending the night there in my clothes, my slippers on, unwashed, teeth not brushed. Seriously, I couldn't get up to go to bed. In the morning I was totally disgusted with myself. I crawled up to the bathroom and had a long shower. After breakfast and a cup of tea I felt much better. This evening I had a shorter walk but still came home feeling wilted. Crashed out on the couch, yet manged to get up at least this time and enjoy the evening . I'm a little worried that the walks leave me so sore and tired.

My son bought me The Sims 3, another addiction. I now have too many goofing off distractions to tempt me.

Walking Blues

Here's a few shots of the Rail Trail in Ancaster. I found another pet rock there !
Had a bad time and had to give up walking, plus it was cold out ! Everything was hurting on me so I took the bus home. Thought I wasn't going to make it, I felt so awful. Decided to chug down an energy drink which normally I only drink when I'm at work. That helped settle my stomach and got me home. Ahh, home sweet home. Felt so good to be back. Made myself some tea , had a snack and a couple of pain killers. I rallied in the evening and ended up baking a lemon meringue pie. I think that's it now for baking until the fall except for shortcake when the strawberries are in season That should be in a couple of weeks.

Things are working out pretty good working at home . Just need to get settled into a routine and then the next step will be to get my after work life sorted out. Oh!there are so many things that need to get done on my long, long, list.

I'm really feeling crappy, so I think I'll finish this and go have a shower