Leaky Basement

Well it never fails, every weekend it's something. Because the massive piles of snow are melting so quickly, the drain is backing up and I have water in my basement. Not all that much and only in one corner, still though it's frustrating. The city never cleans up at our end of the street . Because my street ends at an intersection and then continues further south , after a sharp left, then right turn, we are forgotten. How many people have said to me "Oh I didn't know that street went so far west" Sometimes that can be a good thing, to be forgotten. Street cleaning day not being one of those times.
It's supposed to be above freezing all week. Hope my house doesn't float away.

Did the usual cooking marathon this morning. Friday night I had run out of easy things to cook so we went to a new Indian buffet place. The food was excellent, fresh and lots of variety . Not a bad deal either, considering they included soft drinks with free refills. I ate way too much, which is always the danger with all you can eat buffets. The staff were very friendly . Nice to know there's a place close by to have dinner that is good, when I don't feel good. Gee ! that's most of the time.

My typing and printing are getting much worse. For example I wanted to type" time" and instead typed "mind" and I'm not even going fast.Bizarre. I'm screwing up my postcards too. I know what I have to print, yet I'm getting the letters mixed up. At least on a computer it's easy enough to correct .
I also had this odd sensation today while brushing my teeth. It felt like there was something on my arm, like a hair or drops of water, only there wasn't anything. It kept happening and I kept on trying to wipe it away, yet nothing was there. And how the heck has this tingle managed to get up into my left arm ?

The dentist from U of T called. I have an appointment in March for yet another consultation about the dental implants. They keep changing the diagnosis. First it was yes , then no, then maybe. I think it's back to yes now. I can't afford to get them done privately as my plan won't pay and no way do I want anymore crowns done. What an expensive torture that is.
Can't think of any other thing I spend so much money on that I hate so much, except maybe having my basement dug up.

There's a movie on t.v. tonight that I've never heard of "A Deadly Affair" with Simome Signoret( did it again, typed" seemore") and James Mason. The last time I saw her was in "Daibolique" on the french channel .The 1950's one, not the crappy remake with Sharon Stone. What a scary, weird, excellent movie !

Do You Believe In Prayers?

Yes, I believe in prayers. I wanted the brother I knew when we were growing up, I prayed for my brother for more years than I care to count.

When I heard the joy in my mothers voice last week say, "M. was over and he looks real good. His face is clear and he has been going to church. He has three suits he wants me to take in for him." I felt her smiling as we talked on the phone, I knew then she believed he was clean and sober. She was apprehensive when I told her several months ago, he has not been using going on a year and he was getting his life together. After several times of not completing rehab, I understood her apprehension, but it was a happy moment to hear her believe in my brother again.

The day my brother was about to end his life, he called me. That day is etched in my brain for eternity. My husband and I was on a date night, we were driving to spend the night in Tunica, MS. A call interrupted the music coming from the radio, I did recognize the number and I could not understand the caller in the beginning. The caller was crying hysterical, after about of minute of trying to understand what the caller was saying, my heart stopped. I recognized the voice; it was my brother “M”.

My thoughts were racing, was he was hurt, why is he calling me I live in another state. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard him say, “I am sick of living worst than a dog, Shelly lives better than me (Shelly is my dog), I am going to kill myself”. I knew with every fiber in my body he meant what he just said. I stopped the call from coming over the radio and held the phone to my ear and said, “You don’t have to live like you are living…you can change your life “M”, I will help you, we all will help you”.

After I said that, I let him get it all out. I did not judge him; I just listened to his pain. Once he stopped talking, I repeated what I said earlier and I told him, "I would start the ball rolling from my end to help him get his life together." I was relieved because I felt in my heart he believed me, he was calmer when we ended our call. I called my older sister and told her about what just happened. I advice her on what I was going to do, but she would have to take over because I do not live in that state anymore. She agreed to handle everything once I found a program for my brother.

To make a long story short, I immediately found a program that could help my brother in the state he lives in and a place to live, my sister made sure he kept all appointments by driving him there herself. No one believed my brother was going to change his life, but no one heard the desperation in his voice when he called me the night he wanted to end it all.

When we pray we cannot expect miracles to happen right away. I had been praying for my brother to stop using drugs for over twenty years. My prayers were answered the day my brother called me for help. He has been clean and sober for nine months and I pray everyday he stays that way.

PS

My brother will be 48 years old next week and been on drugs for many years. No matter what one may think reading this post. I am proud of fact my brother did not bring a child in this world and committed crimes to support his habit. The only person he hurt in the years he been doing drugs is himself. That says a lot about him as a person.

Living With MS....MY WAY

I thought I was going to get myself together when I wrote “MS you can’t keep a good person down” and “Honey you are a Junkie” in June 2007. All I did was trade in the numerous prescription I was taking daily and as needed for a more dangerous and potent drug. My reflection was the best thing to happen to me in 2008.

I still live with pain, tingling, numbness, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, and insomnia. Hell, living with MS I never knew which ailment was going to afflict me, or when it was going to happen. I still do not know today because MS is a predator that I cannot control, but I can control how I allow it to affect my life.
Too many times, I allowed MS to put me in a depress state, for too long I taken drugs regularly to keep symptoms away. Allowing MS to dictate my mood and what I put in my body is what will cause my DEATH. The aforementioned is my reality of living with MS.

I realized if I could live through withdraw symptoms of Fentanyl, I can live with pain, tingling, numbness, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, and insomnia without popping a pill or capsule everyday to keep the symptoms away. I am no idiot; I will take medication, as I need it. I am proud of myself because I have been strong enough not reach for a pill or capsule when MS take me for a ride with one or more of my symptoms. I am proud of the fact I need to have new prescriptions written for the MS symptoms that plagues me when I go see me Neurologist February 17…yes, it has been that long since I taken what I call my as needed drugs.

I have come a long way, the only drugs, I take on a daily basis are my Copaxone injection and Cymbalta. I would not be taking Cymbalta if I had a severe case of anxiety recently. My anxiety is better and I contribute that to Cymbalta, therefore, I will continue taking my Cymbalta on a daily basis. I never want to experience the type of anxiety I just overcame in my life.

Living with MS my way may not work for others, but damn sure works for me.

Vitamin D and MS

An article in The Independent today, about the link between vitamin D deficiency during pregnancy and higher risk of MS for the child. This reminds me of the link between spina bifida and folic acid deficiency. Cases of spina bifida have dropped significantly since women began taking a supplement early in their pregnancy . Perhaps prevention will be the answer for MS? Pregnant women will be advised to take a vitamin D supplement during pregnancy. It wouldn't eliminate all cases of MS since there are still genetic and enviromental influences. At least it would be a step in the right direction and what harm would a vitamin supplement do anyway.

I notice the British papers always have stories about MS, more so than the ones here. Wonder why that is ? Canada has a high rate of MS, yet I hardly ever see or hear any news about it.

Another meeting at work this afternoon, long and tiring, but positive. My new union rep is very energetic and is herself a duty to accomodate worker. She has first hand knowledge of the process which should help speed things up. Well how could they go any slower ? I was compiling documents for her and some go back to 2006. Meanwhile I try to hang in there ,but it's getting harder.

New Union Rep

Home late tonight as I had dinner with my new union rep. I'm exhausted, the woman is a ball of energy which is a good thing. Hope to have some positive news to report soon. I can't type my finger is really sore from banging it

Another Test

Strange weather out there. Europe having huge snow storms and we a big melt. On the news this morning I saw London practically shut down, no buses, very little traffic.

Wiarton Willie has declared six more weeks of winter. Blah

It was a bit tricky for to walk around today, between the puddles and the ice.I did manage to get over to the old court house, which is now the downtown campus of Mc Master University
Took a few photos with my camera phone . Above you can see the statue of United Empire Loyalists. I'll have to go back when all the snow is gone to get a better shot.

Spoke to the doctor today about my hands, as the tingling is getting worse. He is sending me for another test similar to the EVP only I can't remember what he called it Guess I'll find out when I get the letter for the appointment time. I really didn't want to call him It makes me feel like a whining hypochondriac and if it wasn't for work I probably wouldn't . Everything needs to be documented.

Health Central sent me an email today about the take over of Wellsphere. I get the impression it will remain a as separate website. If that is so,I'm going to go back to it tomorrow and maybe link my blog again .


Don't think I'll be going to work tomorrow I'm a total wreck and I have awful soreness in my heels ! Have no idea why. I'll finish watching this Kung Fu movie which is a weird one tonight. Alcoholic Buddhist monks ? The dubbing is so bad I'm sure he isn't saying" We monks think nothing of this wine. We call it rice nugget tea " as he takes a huge gulp.

From Peacock to Feather Duster

You want to know my philosophy? One day a peacock. The next day a feather duster."
PAT QUINN, the governor of Illinois, on his turn in the spotlight.